Love Isn’t the Problem. Expectations Are — Why Indian Marriages Are Breaking Apart

For decades, Indian marriages were not built on mutual joy but on unspoken endurance. We were told that staying together was the highest virtue—even if it meant staying miserable. Families took pride in long marriages, never stopping to ask whether those years were filled with love or just silence. Marriage became the certificate of stability, not of emotional connection. Love was never the requirement. Compatibility didn’t matter. As long as two people didn’t walk away, the marriage was “successful.” But that story is beginning to unravel—and for good reason. Indian marriages glorified suffering. Couples who stayed together despite pain, distance, and emotional neglect were praised as “strong.” But this was never strength—it was suppression. Women were told to keep quiet for the sake of family. Men were told to carry the weight of being the provider, with no space to express emotional fatigue. What we called strength was actually people abandoning themselves for the sake of appearances. Most marriages were based on social contracts, not emotional connection. You didn’t marry someone to understand them—you married to fulfill a role. Husband. Wife. Daughter-in-law. Son-in-law. These titles carried expectations, not intimacy. People didn't ask, “Do we bring out the best in each other?” They asked, “What will the community say if this breaks?” Love was optional. Duty was mandatory. For years, the idea of leaving a marriage was drenched in shame. Divorce was the ultimate taboo, especially for women. Even in abusive or emotionally empty marriages, the advice was always the same: adjust. The message was clear—your suffering is more acceptable than your separation. But that mindset is shifting. People are now starting to see that walking away is not giving up. It’s choosing life over slow decay. No one asked if partners felt heard, seen, or emotionally safe. A man who brought money home was considered a good husband. A woman who cooked and stayed silent was considered a good wife. Emotional needs were seen as weakness or luxury. But today, a marriage without emotional fulfillment is no longer considered enough. People want more than shared responsibilities—they want real connection. Younger Indians are not rejecting marriage—they’re rejecting the version of marriage that traps rather than nurtures. They are marrying later, asking harder questions, and choosing partners more mindfully. Marriage is no longer a compulsory milestone. It’s becoming a conscious decision. And if it doesn’t feel right, they’re choosing to leave. Not because they’re selfish, but because they now know that peace is better than performance. Parents and elders often equate divorce with disgrace, as if their honor is tied to the image of a marriage that lasts—regardless of its quality. But they too must evolve. A marriage that ends with honesty and healing is far more dignified than one that survives through silence. It’s time families stop forcing their children to live in emotional prisons just to protect their own reputation in society. Yes, Indian marriages are breaking. But maybe they’re not breaking down—they’re breaking open. For the first time, love is becoming the reason to marry. Respect is becoming non-negotiable. Happiness is being treated as essential, not extra. And leaving is no longer seen as weakness—it’s being seen as wisdom. This isn’t the collapse of tradition. It’s the evolution of it. And maybe, for once, we’re finally getting it right.