Why Do Indian Parents Care More About Society Than Their Own Kids?
Yuvraj Nanda | Mar 18, 2025, 23:37 IST
Indian parents often prioritise societal approval over their children’s happiness. From career choices to marriage, the phrase “log kya kahenge?” dominates their decisions. But why does this mindset persist? Is it cultural conditioning or a deep-seated fear of rejection? This article dissects the psychology behind it and questions whether it’s time to break the cycle.
Parenting in India has always been a topic of discussion. The root cause behind the same is that parenting as a concept in itself has been relatively more controversial in India than the rest of the world—considering the extra element of imposed values and societal expectations that every generation has had from the next generation.
However, barring the personal expectations aside—why is it that Indian parents care more about what the society thinks about their children than what their children think of themselves? Why do the neighbours even have an indirect influence on what their children want to do and seek pleasure doing?
The phrase “log kya kahenge?” (what will people say?) is a deeply embedded part of the Hindi speaking sect of our country. Parents in our nation worry much more about how relatives, neighbours, and even distant acquaintances perceive their children’s choices rather than focusing on what truly makes them happy and fulfilling as individuals. Whether it is about picking a career, choosing their life partner, or even dressing a certain way they’d like to, every decision of this type is weighed against society’s expectations—welcomed by Indian parents.
Historically, this mindset stems from India’s collectivist culture, where individual choices were often seen as secondary to family and community harmony. Parents still fear that if their child steps outside these invisible boundaries, their reputation will take a hit. Unfortunately, this often leads to emotionally suffocating situations where the children despite committing no mistakes are forced into careers they do not want, relationships they don’t choose, and lives they don’t resonate with.
Parents, despite wishing the best for their children sometimes go overboard with emotional manipulation. Many do not realise that constant pressure and guilt-tripping can severely impact their child’s mental health. Statements like:
• “We sacrificed everything for you, and this is how you repay us?”
• “Your cousin became an engineer, and you want to be an artist?”
• “If you marry outside our community, we will have to leave this neighbourhood out of shame!”
This isn’t certainly called as guidance—it’s called emotional blackmail. While parents might even have good intentions based on their perception, their methods often push children into anxiety, depression, and even rebellion. In extreme cases, societal pressure has even led to tragic consequences like forced marriages and disownment.
The biggest irony? Society, which parents desperately try to please, moves on quickly. People gossip for a few days, and then they find something else to talk about. Meanwhile, the child is left to live a life dictated by others’ expectations.
The good news? The younger generation is pushing back. More Indian millennials and Gen Zs are prioritising self-happiness over social approval. Therapy, open conversations, and exposure to global perspectives have helped many break free from the “log kya kahenge?” trap.
However, changing deep-rooted beliefs isn’t really easy. Parents raised in a world where community reputation defined success still struggle to let go. The key to ending this cycle lies in open dialogue and mutual acceptance that one needs to learn, introspect, and most importantly adapt with changing times. Rather than rebelling aggressively, young Indians can try to educate their parents about the changing world. They can show that success isn’t just a high-paying job, and happiness isn’t just about societal validation.
At the end of the day, real respect comes from living authentically—not from pleasing faceless critics. And maybe, just maybe, the next generation of Indian parents will finally start prioritising their children’s happiness over the whispers of the outside world.
Explore the latest trends and tips in Health & Fitness, Travel, Life Hacks, Fashion & Beauty, and Relationships at Times Life.
However, barring the personal expectations aside—why is it that Indian parents care more about what the society thinks about their children than what their children think of themselves? Why do the neighbours even have an indirect influence on what their children want to do and seek pleasure doing?
The “Log Kya Kahenge” Syndrome
A mother scolding her child
The phrase “log kya kahenge?” (what will people say?) is a deeply embedded part of the Hindi speaking sect of our country. Parents in our nation worry much more about how relatives, neighbours, and even distant acquaintances perceive their children’s choices rather than focusing on what truly makes them happy and fulfilling as individuals. Whether it is about picking a career, choosing their life partner, or even dressing a certain way they’d like to, every decision of this type is weighed against society’s expectations—welcomed by Indian parents.
Historically, this mindset stems from India’s collectivist culture, where individual choices were often seen as secondary to family and community harmony. Parents still fear that if their child steps outside these invisible boundaries, their reputation will take a hit. Unfortunately, this often leads to emotionally suffocating situations where the children despite committing no mistakes are forced into careers they do not want, relationships they don’t choose, and lives they don’t resonate with.
Emotional Blackmail vs. Parental Concern
A mother and a daughter having a conversation
Parents, despite wishing the best for their children sometimes go overboard with emotional manipulation. Many do not realise that constant pressure and guilt-tripping can severely impact their child’s mental health. Statements like:
• “We sacrificed everything for you, and this is how you repay us?”
• “Your cousin became an engineer, and you want to be an artist?”
• “If you marry outside our community, we will have to leave this neighbourhood out of shame!”
This isn’t certainly called as guidance—it’s called emotional blackmail. While parents might even have good intentions based on their perception, their methods often push children into anxiety, depression, and even rebellion. In extreme cases, societal pressure has even led to tragic consequences like forced marriages and disownment.
The biggest irony? Society, which parents desperately try to please, moves on quickly. People gossip for a few days, and then they find something else to talk about. Meanwhile, the child is left to live a life dictated by others’ expectations.
Can the New Generation End This Cycle?
Happy parents with happy children
The good news? The younger generation is pushing back. More Indian millennials and Gen Zs are prioritising self-happiness over social approval. Therapy, open conversations, and exposure to global perspectives have helped many break free from the “log kya kahenge?” trap.
However, changing deep-rooted beliefs isn’t really easy. Parents raised in a world where community reputation defined success still struggle to let go. The key to ending this cycle lies in open dialogue and mutual acceptance that one needs to learn, introspect, and most importantly adapt with changing times. Rather than rebelling aggressively, young Indians can try to educate their parents about the changing world. They can show that success isn’t just a high-paying job, and happiness isn’t just about societal validation.
A couple playing with their child
At the end of the day, real respect comes from living authentically—not from pleasing faceless critics. And maybe, just maybe, the next generation of Indian parents will finally start prioritising their children’s happiness over the whispers of the outside world.
Explore the latest trends and tips in Health & Fitness, Travel, Life Hacks, Fashion & Beauty, and Relationships at Times Life.