Why Love Can Feel Like an Unsolvable Puzzle: Love Lessons from Kafka
Riya Kumari | Dec 26, 2024, 01:38 IST
There’s a certain absurdity to love, isn’t there? We build it up as a destination, a grand solution to all the quiet, aching spaces within us. And yet, when we arrive, it feels more like stepping into an endless maze—one where the walls shift, the exits vanish, and you’re left wondering whether you’re meant to escape or simply wander forever.
Love, my friends, is not a Nicholas Sparks novel with perfectly timed rain-soaked kisses and sunsets so aggressively orange they feel Photoshopped. No, love is more like one of Franz Kafka’s stories: weird, confusing, and full of doors that don’t lead where you think they will. Love, much like Kafka’s stories, doesn’t always have a neat ending. But that’s what makes it so infuriatingly wonderful. It’s not supposed to make perfect sense—it’s supposed to make you feel alive and vulnerable.
1. The Waiting Is the Point
In Kafka’s Before the Law, there’s a guy who spends his entire life waiting to get through a door. Spoiler alert: he never gets in. But plot twist—what if the waiting is the whole point? In love, we’re all standing outside someone’s metaphorical door, waiting for the green light. Waiting for a text. Waiting for them to “figure themselves out.” Waiting for them to stop saying bro in every sentence. The truth is, love sometimes feels like an endless holding pattern where nothing happens, but everything matters. And while you're out there refreshing their Instagram Stories, maybe the real question isn’t “When will they text me back?” but “Why did I give them this much power over my Wi-Fi usage?”
2. You’ll Never Have All the Answers
In The Trial, Josef K. is arrested and prosecuted for a crime he doesn’t even know he committed. Dating is exactly like that. One day, everything’s great, and the next, you’re ghosted so hard you start Googling, “Can love be haunted?” Love comes with no instruction manual, no flowchart, not even a vague FAQ page. The worst part? You might never figure out what went wrong. Maybe they got scared. Maybe they were never that into you. Or maybe their mom found your TikTok and decided you were “too chaotic.” You’ll never know. Love is messy and unfair, and sometimes it’s just shrug emoji energy all the way down.
3. The Rules Are Made Up
Kafka’s characters live in worlds where the rules don’t make sense. Like in The Castle, where no one even knows what the castle does or why it exists. Dating? Same energy. Think about it: the so-called “rules” of modern love change faster than fashion trends. First, it’s “play hard to get,” then it’s “be vulnerable and authentic.” One minute it’s all about keeping your options open, and the next, you’re getting side-eyed for not deleting Hinge after three dates. It’s chaos. And just when you think you’ve got the hang of it, someone comes along who’s playing an entirely different game. Honestly, the only rule that matters is this: make your own rules—and maybe stop Googling “what does his double-tap on my selfie mean?”
4. Love Is Transformation, But Not the Fun Kind
Kafka’s The Metamorphosis begins with Gregor Samsa waking up as a giant cockroach. A metaphor for love if there ever was one. Because falling for someone can turn you into a version of yourself you barely recognize. You become the person who sends “just checking in :)” texts when you swore you never would. You watch sports you hate because they like it, or suddenly care about artisanal coffee when you were a “whatever’s on sale at the grocery store” kind of person. Love makes you adaptable—and, let’s be real, a little unhinged. The trick is to know when you’re transforming for the better... and when you’re just turning into someone else’s emotional support bug.
5. Sometimes, You’re the Puzzle
Here’s the kicker: in Kafka’s world, nothing is straightforward, and everything is open to interpretation. Sound familiar? Yeah, because sometimes you are the unsolvable puzzle in your love life. Maybe you’re the one sending mixed signals, ghosting someone nice because they spelled definitely as definately (okay, fair, but still). Maybe you’re scared of letting anyone in because last time you did, it ended with a Spotify breakup playlist. Whatever it is, Kafka reminds us that the labyrinth isn’t just out there—it’s in us, too. And the sooner we accept our own messiness, the better chance we have at finding someone who loves us anyway.
1. The Waiting Is the Point
Waiting
In Kafka’s Before the Law, there’s a guy who spends his entire life waiting to get through a door. Spoiler alert: he never gets in. But plot twist—what if the waiting is the whole point? In love, we’re all standing outside someone’s metaphorical door, waiting for the green light. Waiting for a text. Waiting for them to “figure themselves out.” Waiting for them to stop saying bro in every sentence. The truth is, love sometimes feels like an endless holding pattern where nothing happens, but everything matters. And while you're out there refreshing their Instagram Stories, maybe the real question isn’t “When will they text me back?” but “Why did I give them this much power over my Wi-Fi usage?”
2. You’ll Never Have All the Answers
Question
In The Trial, Josef K. is arrested and prosecuted for a crime he doesn’t even know he committed. Dating is exactly like that. One day, everything’s great, and the next, you’re ghosted so hard you start Googling, “Can love be haunted?” Love comes with no instruction manual, no flowchart, not even a vague FAQ page. The worst part? You might never figure out what went wrong. Maybe they got scared. Maybe they were never that into you. Or maybe their mom found your TikTok and decided you were “too chaotic.” You’ll never know. Love is messy and unfair, and sometimes it’s just shrug emoji energy all the way down.
3. The Rules Are Made Up
Rules
Kafka’s characters live in worlds where the rules don’t make sense. Like in The Castle, where no one even knows what the castle does or why it exists. Dating? Same energy. Think about it: the so-called “rules” of modern love change faster than fashion trends. First, it’s “play hard to get,” then it’s “be vulnerable and authentic.” One minute it’s all about keeping your options open, and the next, you’re getting side-eyed for not deleting Hinge after three dates. It’s chaos. And just when you think you’ve got the hang of it, someone comes along who’s playing an entirely different game. Honestly, the only rule that matters is this: make your own rules—and maybe stop Googling “what does his double-tap on my selfie mean?”
4. Love Is Transformation, But Not the Fun Kind
Metamorphosis
Kafka’s The Metamorphosis begins with Gregor Samsa waking up as a giant cockroach. A metaphor for love if there ever was one. Because falling for someone can turn you into a version of yourself you barely recognize. You become the person who sends “just checking in :)” texts when you swore you never would. You watch sports you hate because they like it, or suddenly care about artisanal coffee when you were a “whatever’s on sale at the grocery store” kind of person. Love makes you adaptable—and, let’s be real, a little unhinged. The trick is to know when you’re transforming for the better... and when you’re just turning into someone else’s emotional support bug.
5. Sometimes, You’re the Puzzle
Puzzle
Here’s the kicker: in Kafka’s world, nothing is straightforward, and everything is open to interpretation. Sound familiar? Yeah, because sometimes you are the unsolvable puzzle in your love life. Maybe you’re the one sending mixed signals, ghosting someone nice because they spelled definitely as definately (okay, fair, but still). Maybe you’re scared of letting anyone in because last time you did, it ended with a Spotify breakup playlist. Whatever it is, Kafka reminds us that the labyrinth isn’t just out there—it’s in us, too. And the sooner we accept our own messiness, the better chance we have at finding someone who loves us anyway.