Why Men Will Act Like Your Type and Still Cheat
Riya Kumari | May 29, 2025, 18:10 IST
( Image credit : Pexels, Timeslife )
You know the type. Your type. The kind of man who appears to have walked straight out of your Pinterest board, probably carrying a tote bag with a dog-eared Murakami novel and almond croissants “for the both of you.” The type who listens when you talk, remembers your barista’s name, and has surprisingly thoughtful opinions on how you wear your eyeliner. A unicorn in human form. A green flag factory.
He was the first one who made you feel safe enough to unlearn your defenses. He noticed the little things, remembered what mattered, said the right words at the right time. He didn’t chase you like the last ones. He waited. Learned you. Matched you. He was calm. Grown. And for a while, he made you believe that maybe—just maybe—you weren’t asking for too much after all. But then it happened. Slowly. Quietly. Behind your back, but inside your bones. He cheated. And all you were left with was this echoing question: Why do they go through all that—just to lie in the end?
1. Because Being “Your Type” Is Easier Than Being Genuine
He’s done his homework. You told your friends what you want, you listed your “deal breakers” on Instagram stories. He’s picked it all up, downloaded it, and now he’s performing it for you. But real intimacy? That’s hard. So he fakes it. And honestly? He gets pretty damn good at it.
He didn’t become your type by accident. He listened. Observed. He knew you were tired—tired of the chasers, the liars, the emotionally illiterate. So he gave you exactly what those others didn’t. Patience. Kindness. Depth. It felt like healing, because it was designed to. Not out of love—but calculation. Being your type? That was the bait.
2. Because “Emotionally Intelligent” Doesn’t Mean “Emotionally Mature”
He’ll say the right things, quote the right stuff, share “deep” moments… but it’s all surface. He’s not interested in really knowing you. He’s interested in you thinking he knows you. Trust me, there’s a difference. We all grew up thinking red flags come with warning signs. Spoiler: they don’t. Sometimes they come in perfectly ironed linen shirts and use words like “emotional intelligence.” He will tell you he’s not like other men. He's right. Other men don’t try this hard to seem different—they just cheat.
He said the right things. But he didn’t mean them. Because meaning something takes courage. And cheating? That’s cowardice wrapped in charm. There’s a difference between knowing the language and living the lessons. He’s fluent in your feelings, not because he respects them—but because it gives him access.
3. Because They Love the Feeling of Being Wanted—By Everyone
He doesn’t just want you. He wants more than you. The attention, the chase, the ego boost. He can’t help himself. And since you’re there, loyal and kind, you become a safe place to come back to. He knew you adored him. And for a while, that was enough.
But people like him feed off attention like oxygen. Even while holding your hand, he needed to feel desired by others—exes, strangers, whoever would look at him like he was special. And instead of doing the work to feel secure, he cracked the glass and blamed the reflection.
4. Because They Want Credit for Not Being Like the Rest
Caught once? Twice? Doesn’t matter. He knows you’ll stay because it’s easier than starting over. And guess what? Next time, same story. He’s betting on your heart’s generosity because it’s easier than changing. And so the cycle repeats — lying, cheating, apologizing, forgiving. Rinse and repeat until your heart’s on the floor.
He knew your past. Knew how much you gave. Knew how long it took to trust. And still—he did the one thing he promised he wouldn’t. But here’s the kicker: He’ll still act like he’s the good guy. He’ll cry. Say he “messed up.” Say he was “confused.” No. He knew. He just hoped your empathy would work harder than his integrity.
5. Because They Want Intimacy Without Accountability
He’s not confident—he’s scared. So he runs, hides, cheats, breaks promises. And you? You’re left cleaning up the mess he made when he didn’t have the guts to be honest He wanted the soft version of you. The version that lets someone in. The version that loves loudly.
But when that love required something real—like showing up, being honest, being consistent—he folded. He loved the idea of being your type. He just didn’t want the responsibility of staying that way. You don’t need closure from someone who practiced being perfect just long enough to earn your trust, only to prove he never deserved it.
6. Because Deep Down, He Thought He Could Get Away With It
Stop blaming yourself. Stop rewriting the story to make him the hero. You didn’t fail because he cheated—you failed because you believed a performance was reality. Here’s the truth most don’t say out loud: Cheating isn’t always about some grand unhappiness.
Sometimes it’s just about ego. Arrogance. Impulse. He didn’t do it because you lacked something. He did it because he thought you’d forgive him. Because you’re kind. Because you’re understanding. Because you loved him. He gambled with your heart assuming it would always be on the table. It’s not. Not anymore.
FINAL WORD
You didn’t get played because you were blind. You got played because you chose to believe someone who put on the performance of their life. And that’s not foolishness. That’s love. But don’t ever let a man’s betrayal make you doubt your ability to read people.
You read him. He just lied in a language you weren’t used to being deceived in. And that’s not on you. It never was.
1. Because Being “Your Type” Is Easier Than Being Genuine
Man Studying
( Image credit : Pexels )
He’s done his homework. You told your friends what you want, you listed your “deal breakers” on Instagram stories. He’s picked it all up, downloaded it, and now he’s performing it for you. But real intimacy? That’s hard. So he fakes it. And honestly? He gets pretty damn good at it.
He didn’t become your type by accident. He listened. Observed. He knew you were tired—tired of the chasers, the liars, the emotionally illiterate. So he gave you exactly what those others didn’t. Patience. Kindness. Depth. It felt like healing, because it was designed to. Not out of love—but calculation. Being your type? That was the bait.
2. Because “Emotionally Intelligent” Doesn’t Mean “Emotionally Mature”
Surprise
( Image credit : Pexels )
He’ll say the right things, quote the right stuff, share “deep” moments… but it’s all surface. He’s not interested in really knowing you. He’s interested in you thinking he knows you. Trust me, there’s a difference. We all grew up thinking red flags come with warning signs. Spoiler: they don’t. Sometimes they come in perfectly ironed linen shirts and use words like “emotional intelligence.” He will tell you he’s not like other men. He's right. Other men don’t try this hard to seem different—they just cheat.
He said the right things. But he didn’t mean them. Because meaning something takes courage. And cheating? That’s cowardice wrapped in charm. There’s a difference between knowing the language and living the lessons. He’s fluent in your feelings, not because he respects them—but because it gives him access.
3. Because They Love the Feeling of Being Wanted—By Everyone
Man texting
( Image credit : Pexels )
He doesn’t just want you. He wants more than you. The attention, the chase, the ego boost. He can’t help himself. And since you’re there, loyal and kind, you become a safe place to come back to. He knew you adored him. And for a while, that was enough.
But people like him feed off attention like oxygen. Even while holding your hand, he needed to feel desired by others—exes, strangers, whoever would look at him like he was special. And instead of doing the work to feel secure, he cracked the glass and blamed the reflection.
4. Because They Want Credit for Not Being Like the Rest
Sorry
( Image credit : Pexels )
Caught once? Twice? Doesn’t matter. He knows you’ll stay because it’s easier than starting over. And guess what? Next time, same story. He’s betting on your heart’s generosity because it’s easier than changing. And so the cycle repeats — lying, cheating, apologizing, forgiving. Rinse and repeat until your heart’s on the floor.
He knew your past. Knew how much you gave. Knew how long it took to trust. And still—he did the one thing he promised he wouldn’t. But here’s the kicker: He’ll still act like he’s the good guy. He’ll cry. Say he “messed up.” Say he was “confused.” No. He knew. He just hoped your empathy would work harder than his integrity.
5. Because They Want Intimacy Without Accountability
Relationship fight
( Image credit : Pexels )
He’s not confident—he’s scared. So he runs, hides, cheats, breaks promises. And you? You’re left cleaning up the mess he made when he didn’t have the guts to be honest He wanted the soft version of you. The version that lets someone in. The version that loves loudly.
But when that love required something real—like showing up, being honest, being consistent—he folded. He loved the idea of being your type. He just didn’t want the responsibility of staying that way. You don’t need closure from someone who practiced being perfect just long enough to earn your trust, only to prove he never deserved it.
6. Because Deep Down, He Thought He Could Get Away With It
Woman leaving
( Image credit : Pexels )
Stop blaming yourself. Stop rewriting the story to make him the hero. You didn’t fail because he cheated—you failed because you believed a performance was reality. Here’s the truth most don’t say out loud: Cheating isn’t always about some grand unhappiness.
Sometimes it’s just about ego. Arrogance. Impulse. He didn’t do it because you lacked something. He did it because he thought you’d forgive him. Because you’re kind. Because you’re understanding. Because you loved him. He gambled with your heart assuming it would always be on the table. It’s not. Not anymore.
FINAL WORD
You read him. He just lied in a language you weren’t used to being deceived in. And that’s not on you. It never was.