Why Monogamy Feels Like a Prison: Is Forever Love Really for Everyone?
Riya Kumari | Jan 24, 2025, 23:59 IST
The idea that you’re supposed to lock yourself into a relationship with one person forever and ever? Yeah, for some of us, it can feel like a really long, slightly claustrophobic trip to a destination called “No Way Out.” Sure, society loves it. Your grandmother’s got her pearls clutched tightly, whispering how it’s the foundation of all things “good” and “proper.” But let’s be honest — for many, it feels more like an invisible straightjacket than a fairytale.
Let’s be honest: the idea of monogamy isn’t always the beautiful fairy tale it's cracked up to be. It’s painted as the ultimate goal—find your soulmate, get married, and live happily ever after. But for many, the reality of staying with one person for life doesn’t feel as freeing as it’s made out to be. Instead, it can sometimes feel more like a trap, one built on expectations, societal pressures, and ideals that don't always fit the complexities of modern relationships.
1. The Weight of Expectations
Monogamy, in its traditional sense, carries with it an enormous weight of expectations. We’re told that love should be singular, pure, and lifelong. But real life doesn’t always mirror that storybook narrative. People change over time—your goals, desires, and even your interests evolve. So when you’re expected to fit yourself into a mold of one constant person forever, it can start to feel like you’re suppressing parts of yourself.
Take a moment and think about it. Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where you felt like you were constantly adjusting who you were, just to maintain the peace or meet expectations? It can be draining. It’s easy to get caught up in the idea that true love means surrendering everything to the other person—your desires, your time, your freedom—because society has painted that as the “right” way to love. But what if there’s more to love than just devotion to one person? What if love is about being true to yourself, too?
2. The Desire for Freedom and Growth
Monogamy, for some, feels restrictive not because they don’t love their partner, but because it demands a level of sacrifice that isn’t always sustainable. Freedom, as a concept, is essential for growth—personally and relationally. When you’re in a relationship, you should be allowed the space to grow as an individual, too. The problem arises when we start believing that love means ownership, that the other person must belong to you, or you must belong to them.
For example, consider the common feeling of being “stuck.” You love the person you’re with, but there’s an underlying sense that you’ve given up too much of yourself. Maybe you gave up a career to be with them, or perhaps you’ve stifled certain desires, thinking they wouldn’t fit into the neat box of a long-term commitment. Over time, these small sacrifices build up, and they don’t always result in the beautiful love story you imagined. Instead, they can lead to feelings of resentment and frustration, both for you and your partner.
3. The Reality of Compatibility
Here’s the tough truth: Not everyone is meant to be with one person forever. It’s easy to romanticize the idea of perfect compatibility—you know, that one person who “completes” you—but the reality is more complicated. People change. What you value at one point in life may not be what you value later on. What starts out as a passionate love affair can sometimes turn into something more comfortable but less emotionally fulfilling.
Monogamy assumes that the same person will meet all your needs for the rest of your life. But that’s a lot of pressure for one person to bear. They’re expected to provide emotional support, companionship, physical intimacy, and growth alongside their own needs. It’s a beautiful concept but one that requires a level of work and flexibility that not everyone is equipped to handle. In many cases, it’s not about love fading, but about realizing that the relationship no longer serves both people in the way it once did. And that’s okay—it’s part of growth.
4. Flexible Understanding of Love
Monogamy doesn’t have to be the only model for love, and it doesn’t have to feel like a prison. The key is recognizing that love can take different forms, and each relationship is unique. It’s possible to value commitment without losing your sense of self, to build a relationship that nurtures both individuals while still allowing for freedom and growth.
The most important point here is that love should be about mutual respect and support—not ownership. When people are encouraged to grow and evolve within a relationship, they’re more likely to experience a healthy connection, rather than feeling confined. True love isn’t about holding on tightly; it’s about creating a space where both partners can flourish, whether together or apart. So, the next time you find yourself feeling suffocated by the ideal of forever, remember that love doesn’t have to be a prison. It can be a partnership, a journey of mutual discovery, and sometimes, a beautiful temporary chapter in your life. And that’s perfectly okay. Relationships are about what works for you—no matter what anyone else thinks.
1. The Weight of Expectations
Weight
Monogamy, in its traditional sense, carries with it an enormous weight of expectations. We’re told that love should be singular, pure, and lifelong. But real life doesn’t always mirror that storybook narrative. People change over time—your goals, desires, and even your interests evolve. So when you’re expected to fit yourself into a mold of one constant person forever, it can start to feel like you’re suppressing parts of yourself.
Take a moment and think about it. Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where you felt like you were constantly adjusting who you were, just to maintain the peace or meet expectations? It can be draining. It’s easy to get caught up in the idea that true love means surrendering everything to the other person—your desires, your time, your freedom—because society has painted that as the “right” way to love. But what if there’s more to love than just devotion to one person? What if love is about being true to yourself, too?
2. The Desire for Freedom and Growth
Free birds
Monogamy, for some, feels restrictive not because they don’t love their partner, but because it demands a level of sacrifice that isn’t always sustainable. Freedom, as a concept, is essential for growth—personally and relationally. When you’re in a relationship, you should be allowed the space to grow as an individual, too. The problem arises when we start believing that love means ownership, that the other person must belong to you, or you must belong to them.
For example, consider the common feeling of being “stuck.” You love the person you’re with, but there’s an underlying sense that you’ve given up too much of yourself. Maybe you gave up a career to be with them, or perhaps you’ve stifled certain desires, thinking they wouldn’t fit into the neat box of a long-term commitment. Over time, these small sacrifices build up, and they don’t always result in the beautiful love story you imagined. Instead, they can lead to feelings of resentment and frustration, both for you and your partner.
3. The Reality of Compatibility
Leave
Here’s the tough truth: Not everyone is meant to be with one person forever. It’s easy to romanticize the idea of perfect compatibility—you know, that one person who “completes” you—but the reality is more complicated. People change. What you value at one point in life may not be what you value later on. What starts out as a passionate love affair can sometimes turn into something more comfortable but less emotionally fulfilling.
Monogamy assumes that the same person will meet all your needs for the rest of your life. But that’s a lot of pressure for one person to bear. They’re expected to provide emotional support, companionship, physical intimacy, and growth alongside their own needs. It’s a beautiful concept but one that requires a level of work and flexibility that not everyone is equipped to handle. In many cases, it’s not about love fading, but about realizing that the relationship no longer serves both people in the way it once did. And that’s okay—it’s part of growth.
4. Flexible Understanding of Love
Polygamy
Monogamy doesn’t have to be the only model for love, and it doesn’t have to feel like a prison. The key is recognizing that love can take different forms, and each relationship is unique. It’s possible to value commitment without losing your sense of self, to build a relationship that nurtures both individuals while still allowing for freedom and growth.
The most important point here is that love should be about mutual respect and support—not ownership. When people are encouraged to grow and evolve within a relationship, they’re more likely to experience a healthy connection, rather than feeling confined. True love isn’t about holding on tightly; it’s about creating a space where both partners can flourish, whether together or apart. So, the next time you find yourself feeling suffocated by the ideal of forever, remember that love doesn’t have to be a prison. It can be a partnership, a journey of mutual discovery, and sometimes, a beautiful temporary chapter in your life. And that’s perfectly okay. Relationships are about what works for you—no matter what anyone else thinks.