Why So Many Millennial Couples Feel Alone Together - Gita Explains It
Riya Kumari | Jun 30, 2025, 16:59 IST
There’s a very specific kind of loneliness. You’re lying next to your partner. The lights are off. Both of you are scrolling, deep into your own digital wormholes—she’s looking at someone’s dog in a Halloween costume, you’re halfway through a reel of a guy reviewing air fryers dramatically. Your feet may be touching under the blanket, but emotionally? You're continents apart. Welcome to modern love. Or, as I like to call it: Wi-Fi-enabled solitude with a side of shared Google Calendar invites.
There is a silence that isn’t peaceful. It’s the kind that creeps in when two people sit together but no longer feel seen. It’s not dramatic. It doesn’t look like arguments or slammed doors. It’s quiet. Subtle. You laugh at the same memes, eat dinner side by side, sleep in the same bed—but inside, there’s a growing distance. You’re not alone, but you’re not really together either. This feeling—that so many millennial couples carry—isn’t just a glitch in modern relationships. It’s something the Bhagavad Gita, thousands of years ago, named with precision. Not in the language of Wi-Fi and unread texts, but in the deeper language of the soul. Let’s take a moment. Step away from the noise. And really ask: Why do we feel so alone with the very person we once felt whole with?
1. We Mistake Attachment for Love
"That which is born of attachment brings sorrow." — Gita 2.62
We’ve been taught to hold on tightly to what we love. To chase it, claim it, and protect it. But love that turns into attachment isn’t freeing—it’s heavy. It begins to demand, to expect, to control. And slowly, it starts to suffocate. You might still be physically close, but emotionally, you begin to shrink around each other—afraid to disturb, afraid to express, afraid to be misunderstood.
The Gita reminds us that true love uplifts, it does not imprison. When we stop attaching to how love should look, we give space for it to breathe again.
2. We’re Physically Present, Spiritually Absent
"Just as a man casts off worn-out clothes... the soul moves on." — Gita 2.22
The body shows up. The conversations happen. The plans get made. But the soul? It’s somewhere else. Maybe in the past. Maybe lost in the future. Maybe just… tired. This kind of disconnection is hard to name because everything seems fine. But deep inside, something’s not aligning. You feel it during those long silences, or when the conversation turns mechanical, or when you look at each other and realize: “I don’t feel understood anymore.”
The Gita calls us to return to presence. To bring our full, aware selves into our moments with one another. Because a relationship without presence becomes routine. And routine, without soul, becomes loneliness.
3. We Look for Fulfillment in the Other Without Finding It in Ourselves
"Let a man lift himself by himself." — Gita 6.5
Modern relationships carry an invisible weight: the belief that our partner is supposed to “complete” us. Fill the gaps. Fix the loneliness. Make everything okay. But that’s a lot to place on another human being. The Gita teaches that no one can carry our inner work for us. Love can support us—but it cannot save us from ourselves. If we haven’t sat with our own pain, listened to our own silence, healed our own wounds—then we end up projecting them onto the person we love.
We cannot give from an empty space. And we cannot feel connected to someone else while being disconnected from ourselves.
4. We Confuse Communication With Connection
"The mind is restless and difficult to restrain." — Gita 6.34
We talk. A lot. We message, voice-note, text, call, “What’s up?” and “How was your day?” But beneath all of it—do we feel met? Connection isn’t just about frequency. It’s about depth. And depth asks for stillness. It requires us to pause. To listen without thinking of what we’ll say next. To feel what the other person might be carrying that words haven’t expressed yet.
When the Gita speaks about the restlessness of the mind, it’s also describing the restlessness in our relationships—the need to keep doing, keep talking, keep solving. But sometimes, the deepest connection is found in just being.
5. We’re Afraid of Stillness Because It Shows Us the Truth
"He who is not disturbed by sorrow or joy... is dear to me." — Gita 12.17
Stillness makes us uncomfortable because it reveals what noise hides. When the thrill of newness fades, when routine sets in, when you sit across from each other in silence—what remains? That’s the real test of love. Not the fireworks, but the quiet. The honesty. The unfiltered presence.
The Gita doesn’t promise eternal butterflies. It promises clarity. The kind that comes when we stop performing and start becoming. The kind that stays, even when feelings fluctuate.
So Why Do So Many Couples Feel Alone Together?
Because we’ve stopped looking inward in relationships. We think more intimacy means more information. But what it really means is more awareness. Of self. Of the other. Of the moment we are in—right now. The Gita isn’t just a spiritual text. It’s a mirror. It asks us to be still enough, honest enough, courageous enough to see what’s really there.
And maybe that’s where love begins again.
Not with dramatic gestures or perfect compatibility—but with the quiet willingness to sit together in truth. Let the silence between you not be distance—but space. Space for the kind of love that doesn’t just feel good—but feels real. And in that space, may you find each other again. Not as perfect people. But as whole ones. That’s where togetherness truly begins.
1. We Mistake Attachment for Love
Attachment
( Image credit : Pexels )
"That which is born of attachment brings sorrow." — Gita 2.62
We’ve been taught to hold on tightly to what we love. To chase it, claim it, and protect it. But love that turns into attachment isn’t freeing—it’s heavy. It begins to demand, to expect, to control. And slowly, it starts to suffocate. You might still be physically close, but emotionally, you begin to shrink around each other—afraid to disturb, afraid to express, afraid to be misunderstood.
The Gita reminds us that true love uplifts, it does not imprison. When we stop attaching to how love should look, we give space for it to breathe again.
2. We’re Physically Present, Spiritually Absent
Hug
( Image credit : Pexels )
"Just as a man casts off worn-out clothes... the soul moves on." — Gita 2.22
The body shows up. The conversations happen. The plans get made. But the soul? It’s somewhere else. Maybe in the past. Maybe lost in the future. Maybe just… tired. This kind of disconnection is hard to name because everything seems fine. But deep inside, something’s not aligning. You feel it during those long silences, or when the conversation turns mechanical, or when you look at each other and realize: “I don’t feel understood anymore.”
The Gita calls us to return to presence. To bring our full, aware selves into our moments with one another. Because a relationship without presence becomes routine. And routine, without soul, becomes loneliness.
3. We Look for Fulfillment in the Other Without Finding It in Ourselves
Mirror
( Image credit : Pexels )
"Let a man lift himself by himself." — Gita 6.5
Modern relationships carry an invisible weight: the belief that our partner is supposed to “complete” us. Fill the gaps. Fix the loneliness. Make everything okay. But that’s a lot to place on another human being. The Gita teaches that no one can carry our inner work for us. Love can support us—but it cannot save us from ourselves. If we haven’t sat with our own pain, listened to our own silence, healed our own wounds—then we end up projecting them onto the person we love.
We cannot give from an empty space. And we cannot feel connected to someone else while being disconnected from ourselves.
4. We Confuse Communication With Connection
Indian couple
( Image credit : Pexels )
"The mind is restless and difficult to restrain." — Gita 6.34
We talk. A lot. We message, voice-note, text, call, “What’s up?” and “How was your day?” But beneath all of it—do we feel met? Connection isn’t just about frequency. It’s about depth. And depth asks for stillness. It requires us to pause. To listen without thinking of what we’ll say next. To feel what the other person might be carrying that words haven’t expressed yet.
When the Gita speaks about the restlessness of the mind, it’s also describing the restlessness in our relationships—the need to keep doing, keep talking, keep solving. But sometimes, the deepest connection is found in just being.
5. We’re Afraid of Stillness Because It Shows Us the Truth
Couple
( Image credit : Pexels )
"He who is not disturbed by sorrow or joy... is dear to me." — Gita 12.17
Stillness makes us uncomfortable because it reveals what noise hides. When the thrill of newness fades, when routine sets in, when you sit across from each other in silence—what remains? That’s the real test of love. Not the fireworks, but the quiet. The honesty. The unfiltered presence.
The Gita doesn’t promise eternal butterflies. It promises clarity. The kind that comes when we stop performing and start becoming. The kind that stays, even when feelings fluctuate.
So Why Do So Many Couples Feel Alone Together?
And maybe that’s where love begins again.
Not with dramatic gestures or perfect compatibility—but with the quiet willingness to sit together in truth. Let the silence between you not be distance—but space. Space for the kind of love that doesn’t just feel good—but feels real. And in that space, may you find each other again. Not as perfect people. But as whole ones. That’s where togetherness truly begins.