Why Strong Women Often Feel the Loneliest in Indian Marriages
Riya Kumari | Jul 08, 2025, 12:54 IST
There’s this woman. You know her. Maybe you are her. The one who remembers your birthday, your coffee order, your mom’s blood pressure report — but somehow, nobody remembers to ask if she slept okay. The one who makes it all look easy, like life is just a Pinterest board with slightly better lighting. But plot twist? Behind that calm, capable exterior, she’s exhausted — and lonely in ways she doesn’t even have the time to process.
There’s a kind of loneliness that doesn’t look like loneliness at all. It looks like someone who always has it together. Who remembers the birthdays, fills in the emotional gaps, solves the crises, and somehow still has time to ask you if you’ve eaten. That woman, the one you think is “doing great”, is often the one silently drowning in a room full of people who depend on her but never see her. Not because she’s invisible. But because everyone’s decided she’s too strong to need anything back.
1. Her kindness is mistaken for people’s entitlement
People don’t see her kindness for what it is, an active, generous choice. They treat it like something they’re owed. “She’s just nice like that,” they say. No, she’s not just anything.
2. She runs every role, but no one asks how she’s doing
She’s not multitasking. She’s multi-living. She is the wife, the mother, the daughter-in-law, the professional, the scheduler, the reminder, the crisis-handler, the default parent, the unpaid caregiver. She remembers the neighbor’s medicine, the family WhatsApp group’s drama, the dog’s vaccination, and her partner’s mood swings and still keeps the house emotionally breathable.
And the day she can’t hold it all? The day she forgets one thing, or breaks down for two minutes? She doesn’t get grace. She gets guilt.
3. She’s not allowed to be human. Her strength is treated like duty
People don’t realize it, but they’ve made her strength a rule. An unspoken law. She has to be okay, even when she’s not. She has to be available, even when she’s sick. She’s wiped down kitchen counters with fever. She’s carried groceries and grief in the same hands. She’s shown up for birthdays and emergencies on the same day.
But when she slows down, even slightly, everything falls apart, not because she failed, but because people got comfortable relying on her silence. Her invisibility became their convenience.
4. Everyone is allowed to be flawed. Except her
5. When she speaks, she’s told to quiet down
She’s everyone's therapist. But when she tries to speak her truth, she’s “too much,” “too sensitive,” “ruining the mood.” She pours her heart out, and they tell her she’s “nagging.” She explains her pain, and they say, “You’re always overthinking.”
Her words don’t land. Not because they lack truth, but because they make others uncomfortable. She becomes a burden in the very space she created for everyone else’s healing.
Ending Thought:
Here’s the truth no one says out loud: Strong women don’t become strong because they want to. They become strong because no one showed up when they were soft. So they built walls. They learned to carry everything. And now, the world has confused survival with capacity. But she still feels. She still aches. She still wants to be held, not just needed. She wants someone to check on her the way she checks on everyone. She wants to be seen, not just expected.
So if you know a woman like this, or if you are her, please hear this: You don’t have to earn your rest. You don’t have to justify your exhaustion. You are not selfish for wanting space. And you are not alone for feeling alone. Being strong has never meant being silent. And being everything for everyone should never come at the cost of being nothing to yourself.
1. Her kindness is mistaken for people’s entitlement
King
( Image credit : Pexels )
People don’t see her kindness for what it is, an active, generous choice. They treat it like something they’re owed. “She’s just nice like that,” they say. No, she’s not just anything.
- She’s patient when others would snap.
- She shows up for people who wouldn’t cross the road for her.
- She makes space in her day, her home, her spirit, for people who never ask her if she has anything left to give.
2. She runs every role, but no one asks how she’s doing
Cook
( Image credit : Pexels )
She’s not multitasking. She’s multi-living. She is the wife, the mother, the daughter-in-law, the professional, the scheduler, the reminder, the crisis-handler, the default parent, the unpaid caregiver. She remembers the neighbor’s medicine, the family WhatsApp group’s drama, the dog’s vaccination, and her partner’s mood swings and still keeps the house emotionally breathable.
And the day she can’t hold it all? The day she forgets one thing, or breaks down for two minutes? She doesn’t get grace. She gets guilt.
- She gets, “Why are you being like this today?”
3. She’s not allowed to be human. Her strength is treated like duty
Sick
( Image credit : Pexels )
People don’t realize it, but they’ve made her strength a rule. An unspoken law. She has to be okay, even when she’s not. She has to be available, even when she’s sick. She’s wiped down kitchen counters with fever. She’s carried groceries and grief in the same hands. She’s shown up for birthdays and emergencies on the same day.
But when she slows down, even slightly, everything falls apart, not because she failed, but because people got comfortable relying on her silence. Her invisibility became their convenience.
4. Everyone is allowed to be flawed. Except her
Perfect
( Image credit : Pexels )
- The husband can yell.
- The kids can sulk.
- The in-laws can complain.
5. When she speaks, she’s told to quiet down
Fight
( Image credit : Pexels )
She’s everyone's therapist. But when she tries to speak her truth, she’s “too much,” “too sensitive,” “ruining the mood.” She pours her heart out, and they tell her she’s “nagging.” She explains her pain, and they say, “You’re always overthinking.”
Her words don’t land. Not because they lack truth, but because they make others uncomfortable. She becomes a burden in the very space she created for everyone else’s healing.
Ending Thought:
So if you know a woman like this, or if you are her, please hear this: You don’t have to earn your rest. You don’t have to justify your exhaustion. You are not selfish for wanting space. And you are not alone for feeling alone. Being strong has never meant being silent. And being everything for everyone should never come at the cost of being nothing to yourself.