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Why the Person Who Loves Less Always Controls the Relationship

Annanya Saxena | Aug 25, 2025, 15:10 IST
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Highlight of the story: Why does the person who loves less often control the relationship? It comes down to fear. The one who loves more fears loss so they adjust and give in. The less invested partner feels free and holds more power. These patterns can harm the bond. Yet change is possible. With limits, self worth and open talk, couples can balance love and respect. This article explores signs of imbalance and steps to restore fairness.

Love feels best when both people care the same. But that is not always what happens. Many times, one person gives more. The other seems cooler and less bothered. Over time, the one who loves less ends up holding more control. Here is why it happens and what you can do about it.

Who Has the Power?

Power in a relationship
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The less attached partner has an edge. They are not scared of losing the bond. They do not stress over small fights. They feel free to walk away if things go wrong. This makes them calm while the other worries and bends.

The one who loves more often starts to chase. They call first, say sorry first, and agree to plans even when it hurts them. This slowly shifts power to the other side.

Fear of Losing Shapes the Bond

Losing someone
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When you fear losing someone, you give more than you should. You ignore your needs to keep them happy. You stop asking for what you want. The less invested partner does not feel this fear, so they decide how close or distant the bond will be.

This is not always on purpose. Many do not notice they are doing it. But the pattern is common and hurts the one who keeps giving.

Why Attachment Matters

Couple attachment
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People love in different ways. Some want closeness. Others feel safer with space. If someone avoids closeness, they pull back when things get too deep. The other person clings harder to feel secure. The more you chase, the more control they gain.

A healthy bond needs both closeness and space. When one always bends, the bond becomes uneven.

Why Do People Stay?

Happy couple
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Some stay because they hope love will grow if they try harder. Some stay because they fear being alone. Others confuse control for love and think the chase means passion. Over time, this lowers self-worth and makes them feel drained.

How to Bring Back Balance

Love yourself
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You cannot force someone to love more. But you can take care of yourself. Respect your own needs. Stop chasing if it starts feeling onesided. Speak for yourself when things feel unfair.

When you give less and set limits, the other person sees your value. If they care, they meet you halfway. If not, the bond ends, but you gain peace and strength.

Love Should Feel Equal

Equality in love
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The one who loves less does not always mean harm. They often control the bond because the other gives away too much power.

Healthy love should feel like a choice, not a chase. It should not make you scared or anxious. It should not feel like you are begging for care.

Love grows best when both hearts meet in the middle.
Tags:
  • one sided relationships
  • attachment matters
  • who controls the relationship
  • love and control in relationships
  • relationship dynamics
  • who cares less in love
  • why less invested partner controls
  • giving more in love
  • emotional imbalance in love