Why Women Solve Men's Problems, But Their Own Go Ignored

Bindu Mishra | Feb 15, 2025, 14:26 IST

In this article, we explore why women are expected to be problem solvers for men while their own struggles remain overlooked, the impact of this expectation, and what needs to change to create a fairer society.

Introduction

In homes, workplaces, and even public discourse, women are often expected to step in and support men through their struggles—whether emotional, professional, or personal. Yet, when women face challenges, their problems are frequently minimized, dismissed, or left for them to handle alone. This deeply ingrained societal imbalance affects everything from relationships to mental health, reinforcing gender roles that leave women carrying an unequal share of emotional and physical burdens.

The Gendered Burden: Women as Caregivers, Men as Priorities

From an early age, society conditions girls to be caregivers. Whether it's through nurturing toys, expectations of emotional maturity, or being taught to put others first, women are trained to manage emotions—not just their own but also those of the men in their lives.
Meanwhile, men are often socialized to focus on personal achievement, with the unspoken assurance that women—mothers, sisters, partners—will support them through emotional or practical struggles. This cultural dynamic results in a system where men’s difficulties are acknowledged and addressed collectively, while women’s are expected to be managed privately.
Examples of the Gendered Burden:

Emotional Labor in Relationships: Women are often expected to be the emotional support system for their partners, while men are rarely taught to reciprocate the same emotional depth.
Workplace Inequity: Women mentor and support their male colleagues while struggling for recognition in leadership roles.
Household Responsibilities: Even in dual-income households, women disproportionately handle domestic duties, childcare, and elderly care.

When Men's Problems Are Everyone’s Problems

When men struggle—whether with mental health, unemployment, or personal failures—there is a collective societal push to support them. Therapists, spouses, family members, and even government policies step in to aid them. Consider the widespread conversations around men’s mental health and workplace burnout—topics that, while important, receive significantly more mainstream attention than women’s equivalent struggles.
For instance, the "loneliness epidemic" among men has sparked major discussions, while the struggles of working mothers and their mental health challenges are often labeled as a "personal choice to juggle too much."
This pattern is even evident in politics, where men's financial crises or employment concerns drive economic policies, while women’s reproductive rights and safety concerns are frequently dismissed.

Key Example:

Men's Mental Health Movement vs. Women’s Emotional Labor: Men's struggles with mental health have led to major discussions on loneliness, stress, and support systems, while women's mental health challenges are often attributed to personal failings rather than societal issues.

When Women’s Problems Are Just 'Women’s Problems'

Unlike men’s struggles, women’s issues are rarely framed as societal problems but rather as "women’s responsibilities." Take, for example, period pain, postpartum depression, domestic violence, or sexual harassment—issues that predominantly affect women yet receive far less structural support and acknowledgment.
Women suffering from workplace discrimination are advised to "lean in" rather than expecting corporate structures to change. Survivors of domestic abuse are often asked why they stayed rather than why abusers were allowed to continue. Even when women speak up about their struggles, they are frequently gaslighted, invalidated, or expected to simply endure.

Examples of Women’s Problems Being Ignored:

The Gender Pay Gap: Women’s lower wages are often excused by claiming they choose lower-paying jobs, rather than addressing structural discrimination.
Menstrual Health & Workplace Policies: Many workplaces still do not have menstrual leave, even though severe period pain can be debilitating.
Domestic Violence: Women suffering from domestic violence are often blamed for not leaving, rather than holding abusers accountable.

The Emotional & Psychological Cost of This Imbalance

This expectation for women to carry men’s emotional burdens while receiving little in return takes a heavy toll:

Burnout & Mental Health Decline: Constantly managing others’ emotions can lead to anxiety, depression, and emotional exhaustion.
Resentment & Relationship Strain: Unequal emotional labor in relationships often leads to dissatisfaction and unfulfilled emotional needs.
Career Stagnation: Women prioritizing caregiving and emotional support often have less time and energy for career advancement.

And yet, the cycle continues. Women are encouraged to be self-sacrificing, while men are rarely taught to provide emotional reciprocity.

How Do We Change This?

Recognizing this imbalance is the first step, but real change requires action at multiple levels.
1. Teach Men Emotional Responsibility
From an early age, boys should be taught emotional intelligence, empathy, and the importance of sharing emotional burdens in relationships. Men should also be encouraged to seek therapy and support systems outside of romantic relationships.
2. Normalize Women’s Problems as Society’s Problems
Issues like women’s mental health, reproductive rights, and workplace discrimination should be addressed at systemic levels, not treated as niche "women’s issues."
3. Shift the Workplace Dynamics

Ensure equal pay and leadership opportunities for women.
Provide workplace policies that support both men and women (paternity leave, flexible work hours, menstrual leave, etc.).

4. Redistribute Emotional & Domestic Labor

Encourage men to take active roles in parenting, caregiving, and housework.
Break the cultural norm that assumes women are default caregivers in relationships and families.

5. Acknowledge Women’s Emotional Burden
Instead of expecting women to "just handle it," men, employers, and society at large must recognize the mental and emotional labor women take on daily.
Conclusion: The Path to Equality Starts with Shared Responsibility
The expectation that women must always be the problem solvers for men while managing their own struggles alone is not just unfair—it is unsustainable. Gender equality isn’t just about economic or political rights; it is also about emotional equity.
By acknowledging, addressing, and redistributing emotional and societal burdens, we can create a world where women are no longer expected to carry the weight of both their own problems and everyone else's.
It’s time to ask: Who solves women’s problems? And why are they still being ignored?