6 Bhagavad Gita Shlokas to Know If It’s Love or Just Attraction
Riya Kumari | Aug 10, 2025, 05:30 IST
( Image credit : Timeslife )
Look, I’m all for butterflies, but let’s be real, sometimes those “OMG this is fate” flutters are just your hormones throwing a rave in your bloodstream. And that’s cute… until it isn’t. The Bhagavad Gita, yes, the ancient text you probably only know from that one super serious cousin, has a way of making you sit down, shut up, and rethink your entire love life. Turns out, it’s been decoding the difference between true love and fleeting attraction long before dating apps, situationships, and “U up?” texts ruined romance.
The Bhagavad Gita doesn’t speak about “crushes” or “situationships,” but it understands human emotion better than most modern relationship books ever will. It doesn’t chase excitement — it points to truth. And in that truth, there’s a clear distinction: love and attraction may look alike at the start, but they live in entirely different worlds. One grows. The other fades.
1. Love is patient. Attraction is urgent.
कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन ।
मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते सङ्गोऽस्त्वकर्मणि ॥ (2.47)
"You have a right to perform your actions, but never to the fruits of your actions. Let not the fruits of action be your motive, nor let your attachment be to inaction."
Love has no stopwatch. It gives space for people to grow at their own pace. It doesn’t cling to immediate gratification, because its value isn’t measured in speed. It doesn’t demand an answer before you’re ready to give it. Attraction, however, burns fast and loud. It wants certainty today because it fears it may not survive tomorrow. Patience is the proof of love; urgency is the fear of loss.
2. Love accepts completely. Attraction accepts selectively.
समः शत्रौ च मित्रे च तथा मानापमानयोः ।
शीतोष्णसुखदुःखेषु समः सङ्गविवर्जितः ॥ (6.9)
"He who is equal to friend and foe, in honor and dishonor, in heat and cold, in pleasure and pain, and free from attachment, such a person is dear to Me."
Love looks at someone and says, “I see all of you, the light and the shadows and I still choose you.” Attraction filters. It embraces the parts that please and quietly hopes the rest will change. But whatever demands change before acceptance is not love. It is a transaction dressed as affection. What needs perfection is not love; it is a preference. The Gita’s wisdom is simple: the more your heart can hold without condition, the more you are aligned with real love.
3. Love frees you to be yourself. Attraction edits you.
स्वधर्मे निधनं श्रेयः परधर्मो भयावहः ॥ (3.35)
"It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else’s life with perfection."
In love, you can exist without performance. You are not asked to trade your truth for their approval. In love, you can be unpolished. You can laugh too loud, speak your unfiltered thoughts, and exist without performance. Attraction, however, thrives on curated images. it demands that you be the version they desire, not the person you are. The Gita reminds us: any bond that asks you to abandon your authentic self is not love; it is fear wearing affection as a mask. It edits out the parts that might disrupt the fantasy. The Gita call this ego, the need to control how we are perceived, instead of allowing who we truly are to be seen.
4. Love can wait. Attraction cannot survive without constant attention.
दुःखेष्वनुद्विग्नमना: सुखेषु विगतस्पृह: ।
वीतरागभयक्रोध: स्थितधीर्मुनिरुच्यते ॥ (2.56)
"One whose mind remains undisturbed amid sorrow, free from craving in pleasure, and free from attachment, fear, and anger, such a person is of steady wisdom."
When it’s love, silence isn’t a threat. A pause in conversation doesn’t weaken the bond; it deepens it. Attraction, however, is fragile. It depends on a constant exchange of reassurance to keep itself alive. Love is nourished by trust; attraction is starved without validation. The Gita points us to steadiness: when connection doesn’t need to be fed every moment to survive, it’s rooted in love, not dependence.
5. Love is about giving. Attraction is about receiving.
त्यक्त्वा कर्मफलासङ्गं नित्यतृप्तो निराश्रयः ।
कर्मण्यभिप्रवृत्तोऽपि नैव किञ्चित्करोति सः ॥ (4.20)
"Abandoning attachment to the results of his actions, ever content and independent, he acts but does not engage in selfish action."
Love asks, “How can I care for them?” Love gives because giving is natural to it. It does not calculate returns Attraction asks, “How do they make me feel?” Attraction, however, is a loop of self-gratification, The Gita’s wisdom is clear: the purer the act from self-interest, the closer it is to love. Love pours without keeping count. Attraction keeps a hidden ledger of every compliment, every gesture, weighing whether it’s worth the investment. When the giving stops, attraction dies. Love doesn’t, because its source is within.
6. Love makes you better. Attraction can trap you in ego.
त्रिविधं नरकस्येदं द्वारं नाशनमात्मनः ।
कामः क्रोधस्तथा लोभस्तस्मादेतत्त्रयं त्यजेत् ॥ (16.21):
Desire, anger, and greed, these three are the gates of hell, leading to the destruction of the soul. Therefore, one should abandon them.
Love humbles you. It brings out patience, empathy, and the willingness to grow. Attraction, when tangled with ego, amplifies desire, sparks jealousy, and feeds pride. That’s when mistakes are made, not because attraction is bad, but because it pulls you toward self-centered choices rather than selfless growth.
Closing:
The Gita doesn’t romanticize emotions, it refines them. Love is not defined by the height of passion, but by the depth of steadiness. It does not demand perfection, because it is not built on illusion. It can wait, because it is not afraid. And it gives, because it does not need to take.
When you feel something powerful, ask yourself: Does it rest in patience, acceptance, and giving? Or does it lean on urgency, conditions, and need? That answer will tell you whether you’ve found love… or just the spark before it fades.
1. Love is patient. Attraction is urgent.
मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते सङ्गोऽस्त्वकर्मणि ॥ (2.47)
"You have a right to perform your actions, but never to the fruits of your actions. Let not the fruits of action be your motive, nor let your attachment be to inaction."
Love has no stopwatch. It gives space for people to grow at their own pace. It doesn’t cling to immediate gratification, because its value isn’t measured in speed. It doesn’t demand an answer before you’re ready to give it. Attraction, however, burns fast and loud. It wants certainty today because it fears it may not survive tomorrow. Patience is the proof of love; urgency is the fear of loss.
2. Love accepts completely. Attraction accepts selectively.
शीतोष्णसुखदुःखेषु समः सङ्गविवर्जितः ॥ (6.9)
"He who is equal to friend and foe, in honor and dishonor, in heat and cold, in pleasure and pain, and free from attachment, such a person is dear to Me."
Love looks at someone and says, “I see all of you, the light and the shadows and I still choose you.” Attraction filters. It embraces the parts that please and quietly hopes the rest will change. But whatever demands change before acceptance is not love. It is a transaction dressed as affection. What needs perfection is not love; it is a preference. The Gita’s wisdom is simple: the more your heart can hold without condition, the more you are aligned with real love.
3. Love frees you to be yourself. Attraction edits you.
"It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else’s life with perfection."
In love, you can exist without performance. You are not asked to trade your truth for their approval. In love, you can be unpolished. You can laugh too loud, speak your unfiltered thoughts, and exist without performance. Attraction, however, thrives on curated images. it demands that you be the version they desire, not the person you are. The Gita reminds us: any bond that asks you to abandon your authentic self is not love; it is fear wearing affection as a mask. It edits out the parts that might disrupt the fantasy. The Gita call this ego, the need to control how we are perceived, instead of allowing who we truly are to be seen.
4. Love can wait. Attraction cannot survive without constant attention.
वीतरागभयक्रोध: स्थितधीर्मुनिरुच्यते ॥ (2.56)
"One whose mind remains undisturbed amid sorrow, free from craving in pleasure, and free from attachment, fear, and anger, such a person is of steady wisdom."
When it’s love, silence isn’t a threat. A pause in conversation doesn’t weaken the bond; it deepens it. Attraction, however, is fragile. It depends on a constant exchange of reassurance to keep itself alive. Love is nourished by trust; attraction is starved without validation. The Gita points us to steadiness: when connection doesn’t need to be fed every moment to survive, it’s rooted in love, not dependence.
5. Love is about giving. Attraction is about receiving.
कर्मण्यभिप्रवृत्तोऽपि नैव किञ्चित्करोति सः ॥ (4.20)
"Abandoning attachment to the results of his actions, ever content and independent, he acts but does not engage in selfish action."
Love asks, “How can I care for them?” Love gives because giving is natural to it. It does not calculate returns Attraction asks, “How do they make me feel?” Attraction, however, is a loop of self-gratification, The Gita’s wisdom is clear: the purer the act from self-interest, the closer it is to love. Love pours without keeping count. Attraction keeps a hidden ledger of every compliment, every gesture, weighing whether it’s worth the investment. When the giving stops, attraction dies. Love doesn’t, because its source is within.
6. Love makes you better. Attraction can trap you in ego.
कामः क्रोधस्तथा लोभस्तस्मादेतत्त्रयं त्यजेत् ॥ (16.21):
Desire, anger, and greed, these three are the gates of hell, leading to the destruction of the soul. Therefore, one should abandon them.
Love humbles you. It brings out patience, empathy, and the willingness to grow. Attraction, when tangled with ego, amplifies desire, sparks jealousy, and feeds pride. That’s when mistakes are made, not because attraction is bad, but because it pulls you toward self-centered choices rather than selfless growth.
Closing:
When you feel something powerful, ask yourself: Does it rest in patience, acceptance, and giving? Or does it lean on urgency, conditions, and need? That answer will tell you whether you’ve found love… or just the spark before it fades.