7 Gita Shlokas to Be Happy in Your Own Company And Stop Chasing Validation
Riya Kumari | Aug 03, 2025, 23:38 IST
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Somewhere between becoming “liked” and becoming “known,” we forgot what it means to simply be okay with ourselves. We seek approval not because we need people, but because we’ve forgotten how to stand firm without applause. The Bhagavad Gita never tells you to stop loving others. But it does tell you, never make your self-worth their responsibility. These 7 shlokas remind us: your peace doesn't need a witness. And your happiness doesn't need a panel of judges.
There’s a kind of loneliness that doesn’t come from being alone, It comes from being at war with yourself. You’re there. Sitting in your room. But you don’t feel safe, because your own mind has become the prison. You chase connection — not for love, but for relief. Relief from your own thoughts. Relief from the voice in your head that only softens when someone else approves of you. So you overextend. You try to earn worth. You tolerate disrespect just to be needed. You shrink your truth just to be accepted. And you convince yourself: If I make others feel good, maybe I’ll finally feel good too. But here’s the truth the Gita gently reminds us of: No one else can carry the weight of making you feel worthy. Because even if they try, your inner war will sabotage their love. You’ll push people away just to prove you’re unlovable. You’ll beg for attention and then feel ashamed for needing it. And eventually, you’ll forget what it feels like to be important in your own life. But you can return to yourself. And the Gita tells you how, not with empty positivity, but with real, grounded truths.
1. “Elevate yourself by your own self. Do not degrade yourself. You are your own best friend… and your own worst enemy.”
(Gita 6.5)
उद्धरेदात्मनाऽत्मानं नात्मानमवसादयेत्।
आत्मैव ह्यात्मनो बन्धुरात्मैव रिपुरात्मनः॥
When your mind turns against you, even love can’t feel safe. You expect others to fix your self-worth, but that's a battle only you can fight. This shloka doesn’t shame you, it reminds you: You’re not broken. You’re just disconnected from your own inner ally. And it’s time to remember: you can become your own safe place.
2. “He who finds joy in the Self, who is illuminated by the Self, that yogi finds eternal peace.”
(Gita 5.24)
योऽन्तःसुखोऽन्तरारामस्तथान्तर्ज्योतिरेव यः।
स योगी ब्रह्मनिर्वाणं ब्रह्मभूतोधिगच्छति॥
Right now, your company feels like punishment, not peace. Because you haven’t learned to treat yourself with dignity yet.
But the Gita doesn’t tell you to isolate, it tells you to reclaim your inner light. You don’t need a crowd to feel alive. You need to stop abandoning yourself every time you're alone.
3. “The mind is the friend of the one who has conquered it. But for the uncontrolled, the mind acts as an enemy.”
(Gita 6.6)
बन्धुरात्मात्मनस्तस्य येनात्मैवात्मना जितः।
अनात्मनस्तु शत्रुत्वे वर्तेतात्मैव शत्रुवत्॥
Your mind tells you:
But when you don’t question it, it becomes your ruler. This shloka reminds you: if you don't lead your mind, it will destroy you from within. You don’t need validation, you need healing. And that starts by believing that you’re worthy of respect even in your silence.
4. “One who is undisturbed by honor and dishonor, the same in pain and pleasure… he is dear to me.”
(Gita 12.18–19)
समः शत्रौ च मित्रे च तथा मानापमानयोः।
शीतोष्णसुखदुःखेषु समः सङ्गविवर्जितः॥
तुल्यनिन्दास्तुतिर्मौनी सन्तुष्टो येन केनचित्।
अनिकेतः स्थिरमतिर्भक्तिमान्मे प्रियो नरः॥
5. “He who is unattached to external things and finds joy in the Self, attains unshakable happiness.”
(Gita 5.21)
बाह्यस्पर्शेष्वसक्तात्मा विन्दत्यात्मनि यत्सुखम्।
स ब्रह्मयोगयुक्तात्मा सुखमक्षयमश्नुते॥
You keep thinking someone will make it better. That if they just see you, choose you, praise you, it’ll finally stop hurting. But nobody can love you into wholeness. Because it’s not love that’s missing, it’s your own permission to exist fully without shame. Stop needing people to clap before you believe in yourself. You were always worthy, even in your quiet, even in your breaking.
6. “Free from ego, balanced in success and failure, such a person is not bound by the world.”
(Gita 4.22)
यदृच्छालाभसन्तुष्टो द्वन्द्वातीतो विमत्सरः।
समः सिद्धावसिद्धौ च कृत्वापि न निबध्यते॥
Sometimes, we beg for validation because we think we’re nothing without it. But the truth is: you're not meant to be earned or proved. You're meant to be, with grace, with grounding, with quiet pride. Let people misunderstand you. Let them not clap. But don’t let yourself go unloved by you.
7. “Gradually, with patience and determination, the mind is brought under control.”
(Gita 6.25)
सङ्कल्पप्रभवान्कामांस्त्यक्त्वा सर्वानशेषतः।
मनसैवेन्द्रियग्रामं विनियम्य समन्ततः॥
शनैः शनैरुपरमेद् बुद्ध्या धृतिगृहीतया।
आत्मसंस्थं मनः कृत्वा न किञ्चिदपि चिन्तयेत्॥
This pain you’re feeling? It’s not forever. But it won’t go away by rushing or suppressing it either. The Gita says: slowly, steadily, teach your mind how to be a better place to live in. One kind thought at a time. One boundary at a time. One “no” that means “I matter too.”
Let This Be Your Reminder
You are not too much. You are not too broken. And you are not required to be perfect before you treat yourself with kindness. It is not weakness to need healing. But it is suffering when you expect others to give you what you won’t give yourself.
1. “Elevate yourself by your own self. Do not degrade yourself. You are your own best friend… and your own worst enemy.”
Write
( Image credit : Unsplash )
(Gita 6.5)
उद्धरेदात्मनाऽत्मानं नात्मानमवसादयेत्।
आत्मैव ह्यात्मनो बन्धुरात्मैव रिपुरात्मनः॥
When your mind turns against you, even love can’t feel safe. You expect others to fix your self-worth, but that's a battle only you can fight. This shloka doesn’t shame you, it reminds you: You’re not broken. You’re just disconnected from your own inner ally. And it’s time to remember: you can become your own safe place.
2. “He who finds joy in the Self, who is illuminated by the Self, that yogi finds eternal peace.”
Affirmations
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(Gita 5.24)
योऽन्तःसुखोऽन्तरारामस्तथान्तर्ज्योतिरेव यः।
स योगी ब्रह्मनिर्वाणं ब्रह्मभूतोधिगच्छति॥
Right now, your company feels like punishment, not peace. Because you haven’t learned to treat yourself with dignity yet.
But the Gita doesn’t tell you to isolate, it tells you to reclaim your inner light. You don’t need a crowd to feel alive. You need to stop abandoning yourself every time you're alone.
3. “The mind is the friend of the one who has conquered it. But for the uncontrolled, the mind acts as an enemy.”
Self love
( Image credit : Unsplash )
(Gita 6.6)
बन्धुरात्मात्मनस्तस्य येनात्मैवात्मना जितः।
अनात्मनस्तु शत्रुत्वे वर्तेतात्मैव शत्रुवत्॥
Your mind tells you:
- You’re only lovable if you're useful.
- You're only valid if you’re approved.
- You're only enough if someone says so.
But when you don’t question it, it becomes your ruler. This shloka reminds you: if you don't lead your mind, it will destroy you from within. You don’t need validation, you need healing. And that starts by believing that you’re worthy of respect even in your silence.
4. “One who is undisturbed by honor and dishonor, the same in pain and pleasure… he is dear to me.”
Love yourself
( Image credit : Unsplash )
(Gita 12.18–19)
समः शत्रौ च मित्रे च तथा मानापमानयोः।
शीतोष्णसुखदुःखेषु समः सङ्गविवर्जितः॥
तुल्यनिन्दास्तुतिर्मौनी सन्तुष्टो येन केनचित्।
अनिकेतः स्थिरमतिर्भक्तिमान्मे प्रियो नरः॥
- You’ve let people become mirrors.
- If they love you, you feel lovable.
- If they ignore you, you disappear.
5. “He who is unattached to external things and finds joy in the Self, attains unshakable happiness.”
Eating alone
( Image credit : Unsplash )
(Gita 5.21)
बाह्यस्पर्शेष्वसक्तात्मा विन्दत्यात्मनि यत्सुखम्।
स ब्रह्मयोगयुक्तात्मा सुखमक्षयमश्नुते॥
You keep thinking someone will make it better. That if they just see you, choose you, praise you, it’ll finally stop hurting. But nobody can love you into wholeness. Because it’s not love that’s missing, it’s your own permission to exist fully without shame. Stop needing people to clap before you believe in yourself. You were always worthy, even in your quiet, even in your breaking.
6. “Free from ego, balanced in success and failure, such a person is not bound by the world.”
Ice cream
( Image credit : Unsplash )
(Gita 4.22)
यदृच्छालाभसन्तुष्टो द्वन्द्वातीतो विमत्सरः।
समः सिद्धावसिद्धौ च कृत्वापि न निबध्यते॥
Sometimes, we beg for validation because we think we’re nothing without it. But the truth is: you're not meant to be earned or proved. You're meant to be, with grace, with grounding, with quiet pride. Let people misunderstand you. Let them not clap. But don’t let yourself go unloved by you.
7. “Gradually, with patience and determination, the mind is brought under control.”
Meditation
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(Gita 6.25)
सङ्कल्पप्रभवान्कामांस्त्यक्त्वा सर्वानशेषतः।
मनसैवेन्द्रियग्रामं विनियम्य समन्ततः॥
शनैः शनैरुपरमेद् बुद्ध्या धृतिगृहीतया।
आत्मसंस्थं मनः कृत्वा न किञ्चिदपि चिन्तयेत्॥
This pain you’re feeling? It’s not forever. But it won’t go away by rushing or suppressing it either. The Gita says: slowly, steadily, teach your mind how to be a better place to live in. One kind thought at a time. One boundary at a time. One “no” that means “I matter too.”
Let This Be Your Reminder
- Happiness is not in a relationship.
- Not in the applause.
- Not in someone choosing you.