Bhagavad Gita 3.35: The Gita Doesn’t Want You to Be Like Anyone Else (Even Your Parents)
Nidhi | Jul 18, 2025, 07:00 IST
( Image credit : Times Life Bureau )
Highlight of the story: What does the Bhagavad Gita really say about being yourself? In this powerful breakdown of verse 3.35, we explore how the Gita urges you to follow your own path — even if it’s flawed — instead of copying others, including your parents or society’s expectations. This article dives deep into the meaning of swadharma, the dangers of imitation, and why inner alignment matters more than outer perfection. If you've ever questioned your life direction or felt lost in comparison, this is the Gita's timeless answer to that struggle.
श्रेयान्स्वधर्मो विगुणः परधर्मात्स्वनुष्ठितात्।
स्वधर्मे निधनं श्रेयः परधर्मो भयावहः॥
(Bhagavad Gita 3.35)
“It is better to fail in one’s own duty (swadharma) than to succeed in the duty of another (paradharma). Death in one’s own duty is preferable; the duty of another is fraught with fear.”
There is something deeply powerful about this verse. In just one line, the Gita gives us a truth that most of us forget early in life. You were not meant to become someone else. Not your parents, not your role models, not even the most perfect person you know.
You were meant to become yourself.
This verse from Chapter 3 doesn’t glorify success or perfection. It doesn’t tell you to be the best in the world. It simply tells you to be real. To follow your own dharma, even if it feels small, broken, or imperfect. That’s what the Gita values the most.
Swadharma is about living in alignment with your true nature. That includes your strengths, your temperament, your personality, and even your limitations. It is the path your soul is meant to walk.
You are born with certain tendencies, called gunas in the Gita — sattva (clarity), rajas (activity), and tamas (inertia). Your mix of these gunas, shaped by your past actions or karma, creates your svabhava, or personal nature. Your swadharma is the action that naturally flows from that nature.
Trying to live someone else’s life, no matter how attractive it looks, will always take you away from your core.
The Gita says that even if you perform this “borrowed dharma” perfectly, it will still feel wrong at a deep level. Why? Because it’s not yours. The fear mentioned in the verse — paradharmo bhayāvahaḥ — is not just fear of failure. It’s the fear of losing touch with who you really are.
When you live someone else’s life, a part of you quietly suffers. That quiet suffering shows up as stress, anxiety, or a sense of emptiness. Even when everything looks fine on the outside, something feels off inside.
The Gita isn’t warning us out of judgment. It’s speaking with compassion. It’s telling us that nothing is worth losing yourself.
At one stage of life, your dharma might be to serve others. At another, it might be to create, to teach, or even to walk away from everything and turn inward.
The only constant is that your dharma must come from within. It is your current nature that defines your duty — not your past, not your family name, and not the pressure of tradition. Your inner calling may change over time, but the need to stay true to it remains the same.
You may succeed on the outside, but the cost is inner fear. That fear shows up as imposter syndrome, burnout, hesitation, or constant comparison. You begin to wonder why you’re not happy, even though you’re doing everything “right.”
The fear is not about the world rejecting you. It’s about your soul not recognizing you.
But even in those struggles, there is something beautiful — the feeling of being real. There is a quiet strength in living truthfully, even when it’s difficult. You may feel uncertain, but you’ll also feel alive.
That is why Krishna says, “Even death in your own dharma is better.” Because to die real is better than to live fake. One of the most striking aspects of this verse is what Krishna doesn't say. He doesn’t tell Arjuna to become divine, or saintly, or to rise above his warrior role. He tells Arjuna to do what is natural for him — to fight, because that is his dharma as a Kshatriya.
Krishna himself is God, yet he never asks Arjuna to become like him. He only asks Arjuna to become who he is. That tells us something profound.
You don’t have to be like anyone else to live a meaningful life. Even the divine does not demand imitation. Only alignment.
But the Gita stands against this tide. It reminds you that your life is sacred not because it looks perfect, but because it is uniquely yours. Your joys, your flaws, your journey — no one else has them. And no one else can live your life for you.
Your dharma may not make headlines. It may not earn applause. But if it is true to who you are, it will bring you peace.
The Gita’s message in verse 3.35 is gentle but powerful. It’s a whisper to your soul in a noisy world. It’s saying, “Stop trying to be someone else. You’re not here for that.”
Your path may be full of mistakes. But they’ll be your mistakes. Your story may be messy. But it will be honest. And in the end, that is what makes it beautiful.
You were never meant to be a copy. You were meant to be the only version of yourself that ever existed. The Gita sees that in you. Maybe it’s time you see it too.
स्वधर्मे निधनं श्रेयः परधर्मो भयावहः॥
(Bhagavad Gita 3.35)
“It is better to fail in one’s own duty (swadharma) than to succeed in the duty of another (paradharma). Death in one’s own duty is preferable; the duty of another is fraught with fear.”
There is something deeply powerful about this verse. In just one line, the Gita gives us a truth that most of us forget early in life. You were not meant to become someone else. Not your parents, not your role models, not even the most perfect person you know.
You were meant to become yourself.
This verse from Chapter 3 doesn’t glorify success or perfection. It doesn’t tell you to be the best in the world. It simply tells you to be real. To follow your own dharma, even if it feels small, broken, or imperfect. That’s what the Gita values the most.
1. Swadharma Means Living According to Your Inner Nature
Path
( Image credit : Pexels )
Swadharma is about living in alignment with your true nature. That includes your strengths, your temperament, your personality, and even your limitations. It is the path your soul is meant to walk.
You are born with certain tendencies, called gunas in the Gita — sattva (clarity), rajas (activity), and tamas (inertia). Your mix of these gunas, shaped by your past actions or karma, creates your svabhava, or personal nature. Your swadharma is the action that naturally flows from that nature.
Trying to live someone else’s life, no matter how attractive it looks, will always take you away from your core.
2. Paradharma Means Imitating Others: and That Comes With a Cost
Don't let Yourself Observ
( Image credit : Pexels )
The Gita says that even if you perform this “borrowed dharma” perfectly, it will still feel wrong at a deep level. Why? Because it’s not yours. The fear mentioned in the verse — paradharmo bhayāvahaḥ — is not just fear of failure. It’s the fear of losing touch with who you really are.
When you live someone else’s life, a part of you quietly suffers. That quiet suffering shows up as stress, anxiety, or a sense of emptiness. Even when everything looks fine on the outside, something feels off inside.
The Gita isn’t warning us out of judgment. It’s speaking with compassion. It’s telling us that nothing is worth losing yourself.
3. Dharma Changes With Growth, and That’s Okay
Dharma
( Image credit : Pexels )
At one stage of life, your dharma might be to serve others. At another, it might be to create, to teach, or even to walk away from everything and turn inward.
The only constant is that your dharma must come from within. It is your current nature that defines your duty — not your past, not your family name, and not the pressure of tradition. Your inner calling may change over time, but the need to stay true to it remains the same.
4. Why Fear Comes When You’re Not Yourself
Fear
( Image credit : Pexels )
You may succeed on the outside, but the cost is inner fear. That fear shows up as imposter syndrome, burnout, hesitation, or constant comparison. You begin to wonder why you’re not happy, even though you’re doing everything “right.”
The fear is not about the world rejecting you. It’s about your soul not recognizing you.
5. Following Your Dharma Isn’t Always Easy. But It’s Always Worth It
Be Passionate
( Image credit : Pexels )
But even in those struggles, there is something beautiful — the feeling of being real. There is a quiet strength in living truthfully, even when it’s difficult. You may feel uncertain, but you’ll also feel alive.
That is why Krishna says, “Even death in your own dharma is better.” Because to die real is better than to live fake.
6. Krishna Never Asks Arjuna to Be Like Him
Krishna himself is God, yet he never asks Arjuna to become like him. He only asks Arjuna to become who he is. That tells us something profound.
You don’t have to be like anyone else to live a meaningful life. Even the divine does not demand imitation. Only alignment.
7. Be Yourself in a World That Keeps Telling You Not To
No Influence
( Image credit : Pexels )
But the Gita stands against this tide. It reminds you that your life is sacred not because it looks perfect, but because it is uniquely yours. Your joys, your flaws, your journey — no one else has them. And no one else can live your life for you.
Your dharma may not make headlines. It may not earn applause. But if it is true to who you are, it will bring you peace.
Be the Original, Not the Echo
Your path may be full of mistakes. But they’ll be your mistakes. Your story may be messy. But it will be honest. And in the end, that is what makes it beautiful.
You were never meant to be a copy. You were meant to be the only version of yourself that ever existed. The Gita sees that in you. Maybe it’s time you see it too.