Marriage Is a Lie, What the Bhagavad Gita and Science Reveal About Why Love Always Fails
Riya Kumari | Aug 26, 2025, 12:09 IST
( Image credit : Timeslife )
We are taught to believe that marriage is the ultimate proof of love, a promise of “forever.” But forever is a word that time itself does not honor. Couples who once swore to never part often find themselves strangers. Science explains this in terms of psychology and biology; the Bhagavad Gita explains it as the nature of human attachment. Both point to the same truth: it is not love that fails, but our illusions about it.
We all grow up with the same story: love will complete us, and marriage will seal it forever. But reality tells another story. People fall out of love. Promises break. Even when marriages survive, many hearts within them don’t. Does that mean love is a lie? Or marriage itself? The Bhagavad Gita, one of the most profound scriptures on the human condition, offers a very different perspective. Modern science surprisingly agrees. Together, they uncover why most human love eventually fails, not because it was false from the start, but because we misunderstood what love really is.
1. Love Turns Into Attachment
In the Gita, Krishna warns Arjuna:
“From attachment springs desire, from desire arises anger, from anger comes delusion, and from delusion, the ruin of wisdom.” (BG 2.62–63)
This is the cycle that destroys love. What begins as affection slowly turns into possession. We no longer love the person as they are, we love what they give us, how they make us feel, how they fit into the story in our head. The moment they stop fulfilling that role, love collapses.
Modern psychology calls this the “dependency trap.” Relationships fail when love becomes a bargain: I’ll give if you give.
2. The Illusion of Forever
We all crave permanence. That’s why marriage became a promise of “forever.” But Krishna reminds us:
“What is unreal has no existence, and what is real never ceases to be.” (BG 2.16)
People change. Bodies age. Feelings rise and fall. Yet we cling to the idea that love must remain exactly the same to be real. Science shows that even brain chemistry in romantic love fades after 12–18 months. What remains after that is not passion, but partnership, if both grow together.
The lie is not marriage itself. The lie is thinking that “forever” means nothing will ever change.
3. The Higher Purpose of Relationship
In the Vedic view, marriage was never about romance alone. It was a yajna, a sacred offering. Two people came together not just to satisfy desire, but to help each other grow in dharma (righteous living), artha (stability), and moksha (liberation).
When a relationship loses that higher aim, it reduces itself to comfort and convenience. That is why many relationships fail, not because love was false, but because its purpose was misunderstood.
4. Science Agrees: Growth Keeps Love Alive
Modern research echoes what the shastras hinted at long ago. Psychologists studying lasting relationships found one thing in common: growth together. Partners who challenge, inspire, and expand each other stay connected. Those who remain stagnant drift apart.
Love is not about holding on, it is about evolving together. The moment growth stops, love suffocates.
5. Loving Without Losing Yourself
The Gita doesn’t tell us to stop loving. It tells us to love without clinging. Krishna’s counsel is clear:
“You have the right to your actions, but never to the fruits of your actions.” (BG 2.47)
This applies to relationships too. Love fully, give completely, but don’t tie your happiness to how the other responds. That way, even if the relationship changes or ends, your inner self remains whole.
This is detachment, not coldness, but clarity. To love without losing yourself is the only way love survives.
The Truth About Marriage and Love
So, is marriage a lie? No. The lie is what we expect from it. We mistake attachment for love, permanence for truth, and possession for devotion. The Gita and modern science both point to the same wisdom:
Final Thought
Marriage will not save you. Another person will not complete you. Love is not meant to be a cage, but a mirror, a way to discover who you really are. When you see it this way, even if relationships change, love never fails.
Because love, in its truest form, was never about holding on. It was always about letting go.
1. Love Turns Into Attachment
Holding hands
( Image credit : Unsplash )
In the Gita, Krishna warns Arjuna:
“From attachment springs desire, from desire arises anger, from anger comes delusion, and from delusion, the ruin of wisdom.” (BG 2.62–63)
This is the cycle that destroys love. What begins as affection slowly turns into possession. We no longer love the person as they are, we love what they give us, how they make us feel, how they fit into the story in our head. The moment they stop fulfilling that role, love collapses.
Modern psychology calls this the “dependency trap.” Relationships fail when love becomes a bargain: I’ll give if you give.
2. The Illusion of Forever
Change
( Image credit : Unsplash )
We all crave permanence. That’s why marriage became a promise of “forever.” But Krishna reminds us:
“What is unreal has no existence, and what is real never ceases to be.” (BG 2.16)
People change. Bodies age. Feelings rise and fall. Yet we cling to the idea that love must remain exactly the same to be real. Science shows that even brain chemistry in romantic love fades after 12–18 months. What remains after that is not passion, but partnership, if both grow together.
The lie is not marriage itself. The lie is thinking that “forever” means nothing will ever change.
3. The Higher Purpose of Relationship
Indian marriage
( Image credit : Unsplash )
In the Vedic view, marriage was never about romance alone. It was a yajna, a sacred offering. Two people came together not just to satisfy desire, but to help each other grow in dharma (righteous living), artha (stability), and moksha (liberation).
When a relationship loses that higher aim, it reduces itself to comfort and convenience. That is why many relationships fail, not because love was false, but because its purpose was misunderstood.
4. Science Agrees: Growth Keeps Love Alive
Marriage
( Image credit : Unsplash )
Modern research echoes what the shastras hinted at long ago. Psychologists studying lasting relationships found one thing in common: growth together. Partners who challenge, inspire, and expand each other stay connected. Those who remain stagnant drift apart.
Love is not about holding on, it is about evolving together. The moment growth stops, love suffocates.
5. Loving Without Losing Yourself
Married
( Image credit : Unsplash )
The Gita doesn’t tell us to stop loving. It tells us to love without clinging. Krishna’s counsel is clear:
“You have the right to your actions, but never to the fruits of your actions.” (BG 2.47)
This applies to relationships too. Love fully, give completely, but don’t tie your happiness to how the other responds. That way, even if the relationship changes or ends, your inner self remains whole.
This is detachment, not coldness, but clarity. To love without losing yourself is the only way love survives.
The Truth About Marriage and Love
- Love rooted in need will collapse.
- Love rooted in growth will endure.
Love rooted in selflessness will set both people free.
Final Thought
Because love, in its truest form, was never about holding on. It was always about letting go.