The More You Try to Fix People, The More You Break Yourself: Krishna Warned

Have you ever loved someone so much that you wanted to heal their wounds, fix their flaws, and lead them to light only to end up in darkness yourself? Many of us fall into the trap of becoming saviours in relationships, driven by love, empathy, or guilt. But Bhagavad Gita gently reminds us: You cannot carry someone who refuses to walk. Trying to fix people may come from a good place, but it often leads to exhaustion, emotional pain, and self-neglect. Krishna didn’t fix everyone He guided, then detached. That’s the divine lesson we frequently ignore.


We often believe it's our responsibility to change those we love partners, family, friends. But Krishna never imposed. When Arjuna was confused, Krishna shared the wisdom of Gita, and then left the choice to him. Thus, I have explained to you this knowledge. Now you may act as you wish.” – Bhagavad Gita 18.63 Krishna’s role wasn’t to fix Arjuna’s fears or decisions but to illuminate the path. Whether Arjuna walked on it or not, was up to him. You can guide people. But trying to fix them without their willingness only leaves you empty, resentful, and spiritually tired.


It may sound harsh, but often our need to “fix” others is rooted in control, not compassion. It’s a way of saying, "I know better than you."Krishna never operated from ego. He didn’t look at Duryodhana and say, “I will change him.” He offered peace, but when Duryodhana refused, Krishna stepped away. Trying to fix people puts you in a position of emotional superiority, and when they resist your help, you feel betrayed. In truth, what hurts isn’t their brokenness it’s their refusal to let you fix them. That’s ego pain.


In the quest to heal others, we often abandon our own healing. You skip your needs to meet theirs, silence your pain to understand theirs, and sacrifice your peace to hold their chaos. But Krishna’s Gita wisdom teaches self-responsibility and balance. Even Arjuna, though overwhelmed with emotions, was told to rise, fight, and focus on his dharma not drown in sorrow. When your cup is empty, you cannot pour into anyone else’s. Before you save others, ask: Am I saving myself first?


Krishna never gave up on anyone, but He never waited forever either. Whether it was Karna, Duryodhana, or Arjuna He accepted that people awaken at different times, and some never do. Fixing someone means dragging them to your timeline, hoping they change now, just because you want them to. But healing doesn’t work like that. Some souls are not ready. Some resist growth because it's painful, unfamiliar, or demands accountability. When you try to force healing, you delay your own.
Let people grow in their own time. Your job is to plant seeds, not pull the roots.


Attachment to outcome They must change, they must understand is the root of suffering. Krishna preached Nishkama Karma action without attachment to results. You can support someone lovingly, but the moment your happiness depends on their transformation, you’ve surrendered your peace. And that’s a dangerous place to be. Many of us confuse attachment with love. But love is freeing, not binding. Krishna’s love for Radha, Arjuna, even His enemies was unconditional yet unattached. Let go. Not out of indifference, but out of deep spiritual respect for their soul journey and your own.

You are not God. Even Krishna, the Divine Himself, let go when people refused to understand. He didn’t beg. He didn’t stay in toxic cycles. He didn’t lose Himself trying to save others. He showed the path. Spoke the truth. And when His love was rejected, He walked away with compassion, not bitterness. So the next time you find yourself breaking to fix someone, pause. Ask yourself Would Krishna stay here? Or would He bless them from afar and protect His own light? Walk away with love in your heart and peace in your soul.

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