Why 16 Somwar Vrats Were Never Just About Marriage: Not for Love But Power
Riya Kumari | Jul 13, 2025, 05:00 IST
Somewhere between the Kalyug ka pressure and WhatsApp aunty forwards, the narrative got twisted. Keeping 16 Somwar vrats isn’t some Tinder Super Like for the divine. It’s not: “Dear Shiva, I skipped breakfast. Now give me husband who doesn’t mansplain.” t’s actually about you. Gasp. Yes, shocking, maybe the someone you needed was you.
Somewhere between centuries of tradition and the noise of modern interpretation, the Solah Somwar Vrat, the 16-Monday fast observed for Lord Shiva, has been boxed into a single idea: women fasting for a good husband. It’s not wrong. But it’s not the whole picture either. Because in Hindu dharma, no ritual exists only for outcome. Everything, every chant, every fast, every offering, is meant to bring your attention back to you. Back to the inner architecture that shapes your choices, your clarity, and your life. The 16 Somwar Vrat isn’t just about a partner. It’s about preparing the space within, so that whatever or whoever, enters your life does not enter into chaos, but into calm. And that kind of stillness takes discipline. This is what the vrat is really doing: shifting you, not your fate.
1. It’s Not a Shortcut. It’s a Slow Return
Fasting is often misunderstood as sacrifice. In truth, it’s just a pause. A pause from food, yes, but more importantly, a pause from your habits. From urgency. From the need to constantly react. When you fast, your attention turns inward. And slowly, your patterns rise to the surface, your attachments, your impulses, your resistance to discomfort. You begin to watch yourself, not out of judgment, but with curiosity. And you start to understand why you keep repeating certain cycles.
Not because anyone cursed you. Not because you’re unlucky. But because you’ve never slowed down enough to see clearly. Sixteen Mondays gives you that space.
2. Shiva Is Not the God of Desires. He’s the One Who Burns Them
When you worship Shiva, you are not asking for more. You are preparing to let go. He’s not the deity of accumulation. He’s the deity of destruction, of false identities, of illusions, of unnecessary craving. So when you fast for Him, be prepared. Not for your life to become easier, but for it to become honest.
You may not get what you asked for. You may stop asking altogether. Because something deeper will rise: clarity. And with clarity, even if nothing changes on the outside, everything feels different on the inside.
3. It’s Not About Getting a Husband. It’s About Seeing Why You’re Waiting For One
The desire for love is human. Sacred, even. But when love is tied to your sense of self-worth, it becomes a kind of hunger you can never satisfy. The 16 Somwar Vrat isn’t a tool to summon someone. It’s a mirror.
One that asks:
4. Why Sixteen Weeks? Because Real Change Isn’t Loud. Or Immediate
Change doesn’t come with fireworks. It comes in repetition. One Monday won’t show you much. Two might irritate you. But by the sixth or seventh, something begins to shift. You become less reactive. More steady. The restlessness that once sat in your stomach starts to quiet down.
This is not magic. This is rhythm. This is what happens when you give anything your sustained, consistent attention, not to manipulate it, but to meet it fully. That’s what this vrat does. It gives you time with yourself, uninterrupted. And it teaches you how to stay.
5. You Don’t Complete the Vrat. The Vrat Completes Something in You
Most rituals end with an offering. A conclusion. A relief that it’s done. But this one? You finish it, and something inside you doesn’t feel done. You feel… softer. Quieter. Like you’ve put something down, even if you can’t name it. That’s the real completion.
Not a result. But a release. Because the 16 Somwar Vrat was never about proving your devotion. It was about becoming clear enough to no longer need to prove anything.
Stop Looking Outside Yourself
There is nothing small about the 16 Somwar Vrat. It is not a checklist. It is not a favour to God. And it is not a desperate ask for a life partner. It is discipline. It is devotion. And it is a deeply intelligent technology for self-purification. Hinduism has always taught that the highest prayer is not one where you ask for what you want. It is the one where you become ready for what life gives.
That’s what this vrat is. A sacred preparation. So that whatever enters your life, love, success, silence, solitude, finds you ready. Steady. And deeply, deeply awake.
1. It’s Not a Shortcut. It’s a Slow Return
Shiv
( Image credit : Unsplash )
Fasting is often misunderstood as sacrifice. In truth, it’s just a pause. A pause from food, yes, but more importantly, a pause from your habits. From urgency. From the need to constantly react. When you fast, your attention turns inward. And slowly, your patterns rise to the surface, your attachments, your impulses, your resistance to discomfort. You begin to watch yourself, not out of judgment, but with curiosity. And you start to understand why you keep repeating certain cycles.
Not because anyone cursed you. Not because you’re unlucky. But because you’ve never slowed down enough to see clearly. Sixteen Mondays gives you that space.
2. Shiva Is Not the God of Desires. He’s the One Who Burns Them
Shiva
( Image credit : Unsplash )
When you worship Shiva, you are not asking for more. You are preparing to let go. He’s not the deity of accumulation. He’s the deity of destruction, of false identities, of illusions, of unnecessary craving. So when you fast for Him, be prepared. Not for your life to become easier, but for it to become honest.
You may not get what you asked for. You may stop asking altogether. Because something deeper will rise: clarity. And with clarity, even if nothing changes on the outside, everything feels different on the inside.
3. It’s Not About Getting a Husband. It’s About Seeing Why You’re Waiting For One
Om
( Image credit : Unsplash )
The desire for love is human. Sacred, even. But when love is tied to your sense of self-worth, it becomes a kind of hunger you can never satisfy. The 16 Somwar Vrat isn’t a tool to summon someone. It’s a mirror.
One that asks:
- Who are you when you're not chasing something?
- What kind of love do you think will save you?
- What parts of you are you avoiding by staying busy with prayer for outcomes?
4. Why Sixteen Weeks? Because Real Change Isn’t Loud. Or Immediate
Pray
( Image credit : Unsplash )
Change doesn’t come with fireworks. It comes in repetition. One Monday won’t show you much. Two might irritate you. But by the sixth or seventh, something begins to shift. You become less reactive. More steady. The restlessness that once sat in your stomach starts to quiet down.
This is not magic. This is rhythm. This is what happens when you give anything your sustained, consistent attention, not to manipulate it, but to meet it fully. That’s what this vrat does. It gives you time with yourself, uninterrupted. And it teaches you how to stay.
5. You Don’t Complete the Vrat. The Vrat Completes Something in You
Mahadev
( Image credit : Pexels )
Most rituals end with an offering. A conclusion. A relief that it’s done. But this one? You finish it, and something inside you doesn’t feel done. You feel… softer. Quieter. Like you’ve put something down, even if you can’t name it. That’s the real completion.
Not a result. But a release. Because the 16 Somwar Vrat was never about proving your devotion. It was about becoming clear enough to no longer need to prove anything.
Stop Looking Outside Yourself
That’s what this vrat is. A sacred preparation. So that whatever enters your life, love, success, silence, solitude, finds you ready. Steady. And deeply, deeply awake.