Why Good Girls Fall for Emotionally Unavailable Men - Krishna’s Answer

Some women love deeply, honestly, and without games, yet they often fall for men who don’t know how to receive that love. These men aren’t necessarily bad; they’re just emotionally absent, confused, or afraid of being known too closely. And the “good girl,” with her empathy and softness, becomes the perfect place for them to hide, heal, or feel temporarily alive. But this pattern leaves her drained. She keeps giving, hoping, waiting, believing her love will melt his walls. She thinks she’s being patient, but in truth, she’s abandoning herself. Krishna’s teachings were never about suppressing love; they were about giving it with awareness. He taught that love is not self-destruction disguised as devotion.


Empathetic women often sense the brokenness in emotionally unavailable men long before those men admit it themselves. He struggles to express love; she understands and excuses it. He withdraws; she waits and hopes. Krishna would say: “Compassion without discrimination becomes bondage.” You are not required to turn your heart into a hospital.
Stop measuring your worth by how much you can tolerate. Healing someone is not proof of love, it’s often proof of self-neglect.
Emotionally unavailable men alternate between affection and withdrawal. This “hot and cold” behavior triggers a psychological chase: You want to earn his love because you never consistently receive it. Krishna warned Arjuna about the mind’s habit of running behind what is unstable: “The mind chases what flickers; the wise seek what is steady.”
If someone’s attention feels like a prize you need to win, you are not in love, you’re in survival mode. Love should feel like presence, not pursuit.



Emotionally unavailable men often show sparks, moments of vulnerability, sudden closeness, deep late-night confessions, but not stability. Good women mistake these rare intense moments for intimacy. They hold onto those “two perfect hours” instead of the “six months of absence.” Krishna would gently remind: “A moment of truth is not the same as a lifetime of consistency.”
Judge a man by his patterns, not his promises… and not by his rare emotional breakthroughs. Those breakthroughs are glimpses, not foundations.

Good women are raised and conditioned to be patient, forgiving, nurturing. They believe it’s their responsibility to empathize with his fears and his past. While he has permission to be complicated, she silently carries the burden of being strong. Krishna would say: “Dharma begins when you honor yourself first.”
Understanding him cannot come at the cost of losing yourself. Love is mutual vulnerability, not you being strong so he can stay weak.



This is the deepest wound. Good women believe their loyalty will inspire change. They think their patience will soften him, their devotion will awaken him, their consistency will teach him commitment. But Krishna taught: “You cannot wake someone who chooses to sleep.” Emotionally unavailable men don’t lack love, they lack readiness. No amount of pure love substitutes for inner work.
Your love is pure, but its direction must also be wise. Give your devotion to a man who shows he is capable of holding it.

Krishna never told anyone to stop loving. He taught them to love with awareness, dignity, and self-respect. If you’re drawn to emotionally unavailable men, it doesn’t mean you’re weak, it means you have a heart that sees potential in people. But even Krishna asked Arjuna to step away from attachments that drained his strength and clarity. Krishna’s guidance for you would be simple and life-changing:

• Choose a man who chooses you back.
• Don’t love someone’s potential more than their reality.
• Don’t shrink so someone else can feel comfortable.
• Love as a conscious choice, not a rescue mission.

Walk away when your heart starts carrying the burden of two people. And most importantly: “A love that hurts your self-respect is not your destiny.”