Why Insecure People Try the Hardest: Chanakya Niti on Self-Worth

There are people who do everything, work late, say yes to everyone, wear what makes them uncomfortable, laugh when they’re not okay, agree when they actually don’t. And when it’s over, they go home, not satisfied, but emptier. They’ll tell themselves it’s effort. Or strength. Or selflessness. But deep down, there’s one thing they won’t say out loud: “I do all this because I don’t know what I’m worth without it.” This isn’t judgment. This is clarity. Because thousands of years ago, Chanakya saw the same thing. Not on Instagram, not in offices, but in courts, politics, relationships, and the human mind. His writings weren’t motivational. They were strategic. Meant to protect your mind from becoming someone else’s tool. And in that lens, insecurity isn’t weakness. It’s the world’s easiest access point into you.


Let’s begin here. You wear something bold, maybe revealing, maybe loud, not because you’re fully confident, but because you want to be. You’re hoping others will reflect that confidence back to you. But then… silence. People don’t look. Or worse, they look and move on. And now, what felt like empowerment feels like exposure.
What felt like control feels like emptiness. You’re not ashamed of the dress. You’re confused by the gap between how hard you tried and how little you were seen.

• “One who depends on others for validation will always be disappointed.”

Because confidence isn’t about being seen. It’s about not needing to be.


You’re starving. But the guy you like is around. So you pretend you’re not. You smile, laugh, and say you’re “so full” when your stomach is eating itself from the inside. You think: If I seem easy, agreeable, low maintenance… they’ll like me more. But here’s what really happens: They see someone who doesn’t speak their needs. And slowly, they stop asking. And you try harder.

• “Too much sweetness invites bitterness. Be clear, or be forgotten.”

The moment you abandon yourself to be liked, you begin to disappear. And the harder you try to be accepted, the less you’re actually chosen. Not because you’re not lovable. But because you stopped being you.


You want someone. You want attention. You want to be desired. So you chase. Text more. Try harder. Give more. And somehow, the more you run toward it, the more it moves away. So you panic. Desperation kicks in. You become even more available. Even more agreeable. And still, nothing. Why? Because effort born from fear repels what you seek.

• “Just as a shadow follows one who walks away from it, success follows the one who stops chasing it.”

Clinging makes you look empty. Detachment, on the other hand, communicates self-trust. And self-trust? That’s magnetic. You don’t have to stop wanting. You have to stop worshiping. What’s meant for you doesn’t need to be begged for. And what runs from you when you stop chasing, was never yours to begin with.


You’re in a group and suddenly, your opinions change. Not because you learned something new. But because you don’t want to be rejected. You say you like that movie you’ve never seen. Laugh at jokes you don’t find funny. You lie, not maliciously, but instinctively. Because deep down, you believe the truth of who you are won’t be enough. But here’s the cost: You’re liked, but not known. You’re accepted, but always anxious. You’ve built a self so edited, even you can’t find peace inside it.

• “When truth is replaced by performance, peace is the first casualty.”

Insecure people lie, not because they’re dishonest, but because they’re unanchored. And until you stop seeking safety in performance, your soul will never be at rest.


This isn’t just about appearance, approval, or social acceptance. This is about the child who was taught to earn love. Who was praised only when they performed. Who was told, in silent ways: You are valuable when others say so. Now, that child lives in an adult body. An adult who tries too hard. Gives too much. Loses sleep over texts left on read. Starves to be liked. Lies to be included. And has no idea how to just… be.
But here’s the brutal and beautiful truth: You don’t need to be more. You need to undo the belief that you're not already enough.

• “He who conquers himself is greater than he who conquers a thousand enemies.”

And conquering yourself begins by stopping the chase, for attention, for applause, for acceptance.

The people who carry real power, don’t try to impress. They’re not loud. They don’t explain. They’re not afraid of being misunderstood. Why? Because they’re not performing. They’re anchored. They don’t chase value. They protect it.
“Speak only when your silence is no longer power.”
So the next time you’re overextending yourself, shrinking your truth, or exhausting your energy to be noticed, ask:
Am I trying to connect, or to prove?
Am I acting from clarity, or from fear?
What am I afraid will happen if I stop trying so hard? Your answers will tell you exactly where your real work begins. And that’s where your power does, too. But because needing too much makes you dependent on crumbs. And people know that. And they give you just enough to keep you trying. But you were never meant to beg for worth.
“Win over yourself. Then you will never need to be chosen. You will choose.”