3 Ideas from Buddhism to Let Go: The Buddha's Advice

Everyone gets heart broken in life sometime or the other. Losing a dream job in the final stages of an interview, being rejected by a person that we loved deeply or even a simple instance such as breaking the display of our Iphone.


The truth is, it is not easy to find balance and inner calm in these situations.
But the enduring wisdom of the Enlightened One, The Buddha, can provide profound solace to a suffering heart. 2,500 years ago, senior buddhist monks who walked the path of Dhamma beside The Buddha himself, wrote down many of his words of infinite Metta or compassion. The Dhammapada which is the most widely read Buddhist scripture in existence sums up in simplest language, the core teachings of Buddhism.

Let’s look at 3 key ideas in this text to move on from past hurts and haunting sorrows:

The Buddha gave foremost importance to taking care of one’s own self. He explained multiple times that “oneself, indeed, is one’s own protector” and we create our destinies by ourselves. Even further, he went on to say that neither mother nor father nor any other relative can do one as much good as one’s own well-directed mind.


This is a fundamental truth that people who are heartbroken by past trauma almost always forget. In many instances we are so intent on giving love, helping our friends, taking care of our partner, to the point that we abandon our own welfare somewhere on the road. But as a matter of fact, how can we love someone sincerely, with all our soul, if we are not loving and respecting our own being?

When a plane is crashing the advice given by the pilot is to put mask on your own face first before helping others. If you yourself are not breathing, how can you manage to take care of those around you, let alone even think about it?


On the other hand, a person who understands himself, takes care of his mind, body and welfare with awareness and compassion, will always be calm and composed. He won’t tremble and break down in fear when a tragedy hits unexpectedly. Therefore, The Buddha wrote in The Dhammapada:


“Don’t give up your own welfare
For the sake of others’ welfare, however great
Clearly know your own welfare
And be intent on the highest good.”

The Buddha’s Noble Eightfold Path is divided into three aspects, namely Sīla (moral precepts), Samādhi (meditation) and Paññā (wisdom). By following the basic precepts of a righteous life and by attaining insights about the basic nature of existence through meditative absorption, one conquers one’s own mind.

According to The Buddha, all experiences are “preceded by mind, led by mind, made by mind…” If we speak or act with a corrupted mind, naturally suffering follows. However, if we speak or act with a peaceful mind, happiness follows “like a never-departing shadow.”
The mind can be our most powerful ally if we learn to tame it or it can become our worst enemy if we let it loose like an elephant that has gone mad. In Buddhism, Anapana or the meditation of observing breath is the starting point of conquering one’s mind. We can start practising this simple, yet extremely powerful meditation technique for a few minutes everyday to attain intense focus and peace of mind.


The first step of Anapana is to sit in a straight and comfortable position. Then we should focus entirely on our breath going in and coming out. Observe how it happens naturally, every moment. When you become aware that the mind has started to wander, as it often does, bring it back to the breath again.
At some point of the meditation, pain of past sorrows will also rise in our mind. Even when this happens, we should bring our focus back to the breath without reacting to it. This will cut off the fuel to these thoughts and they will slowly stop haunting us like papers falling into blazing fire.


The foundational truth that lies at the centre of Buddhism is the universal law of impermanence. All living things, the whole world and universe, become old and wither away. Nothing stays with us forever, including our own body and mind; no one gets out of the hands of death.


Realising this truth makes us humble and helps us not to cling to anything in this world. This realisation cleanses our mind from the wounds of past painful experiences.
During our meditation, whenever any agonising thoughts in mind or sensations on our body arise, we should observe them without reacting to it. Then after a while, we will experience that these thoughts and sensations are leaving us confirming the universal law of impermanence. Thus, by understanding this truth at an experiential level, we will slowly become equanimous to both the highs and lows of existence.


A person who is not clinging to his relationships or possessions attains true freedom and serenity. Hence, The Buddha said:

“All created things are impermanent
Seeing this with insight,
One becomes disenchanted with suffering
This is the path to purity.”

Buddhism is an immensely beautiful, logical and practical philosophy for attaining liberation from suffering. By placing our own welfare as a topmost priority, mastering our mind through meditation and attaining non-attachment by the realisation of the central truth of impermanence, we can heal almost all the disheartening heartbreaks and move on happily in life.

As The Buddha says, may all beings be happy and peaceful.

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Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What are the 4 noble truths of Buddhism?

What is karma in Buddhism?

How to overcome suffering in Buddhism?

1. The Four Noble Truths form the heart of Buddhist philosophy. They include the ideas that suffering is the essence of the world, every suffering has a cause (desire), suffering could be obliterated (by conquering desire), it can be achieved by following the Eightfold Path.
2. According to Buddhist philosophy, karma means that our actions, namely thoughts, words and deeds, have outcomes. Good actions result in positive consequences, while negative actions lead to suffering, whether in the present life or future ones.
3. In Buddhism, by following the basic precepts of a righteous life (Sīla) and by attaining insights (Paññā) about the basic nature of existence through meditation (Samādhi), one conquers one’s own mind and overcomes suffering.