One Everyday Habit That May Quietly Be Killing Your Relation, Says Psychology

Kazi Nasir | Dec 12, 2025, 16:12 IST

Problems in Relationship

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Many couples, especially newlyweds, experience a gradual decline in sexual desire without realizing what’s causing it. While stress and daily routines are often blamed, relationship psychology reveals that a simple everyday habit what you wear to bed can quietly diminish intimacy. Oversized, worn-out sleepwear sends “rest mode” signals to the brain instead of activating attraction cues

Highlights

The “Pyjama Effect” shows how monotonous sleepwear reduces novelty and desire.
Worn-out, mismatched clothes at bedtime signal shutdown, not intimacy.
Research links clothing to psychological states, confidence, and interpersonal behaviour.
Visual novelty activates brain reward pathways and increases attraction.

Newlyweds experience the spark at their initial stage of the relationship silently fades away with time. Blame commonly goes to regular stress or exhaustion or daily routines. But recent relationship psychology comes with a new way of interpretation. Your everyday habit, which you generally don't ponder about, like what you wear to bed, can silently sabotage your sexual desire. Your oversized tees or worn-out sleepwear that you may feel comfortable in can send wrong signals to your brain, associating with rest or shutdown rather than attraction and intimacy.

How Everyday Bedtime Habits Affect Desire

Bed Time in Relationship

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The Pyjama Effect - wearing the same tired-looking, mismatched sleepwear night after night gives a routine signal to the brain, telling it to rest. This effect also relates to monotony and shutdown instead of attraction. According to research of the University of British Columbia, emotional comfort can strengthen relationships for long-term couples but excessive physical predictability lowers sexual desire. Visual novelty activates reward pathways in the brain. So, if only subtle changes appear in appearance such as fresh sleep wear can boost attentiveness or attraction among partners.

According to a study published in the Journal of Social Psychology in 2012, "Cloating affects a person's psychological states and social perceptions, influencing confidence, attitudes and interpersonal behaviour." So clothing can change self-perception slightly.

Simple Changes to Rekindle Desire

Nightly Rituals for Couples

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You can upgrade your sleepwear with fresh, intentional sleepwear to shift your mindset and create a sense of presence. Studies show that even environment also gives cues that shape emotional responses. So, remove clutter from the bedroom. You can keep your electronic devices a little away from the room and may use a dim light inside the bedroom.

There are nightly rituals to foster connection like winding down together or just a brief conversation free from digital devices or a gentle touch or massage. Ultimately it's about paying attention to the little things to make a huge difference.

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FAQs

Q1. What are the toxic habits that damage relationships?
Ans: Criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling

Q2. What's your red flag in a guy?
Ans: unhealthy or manipulative behavior.

Q3. What is soft fading?
Ans: captures the amount of sunlight that enters a room each day.

GENERAL

Kazi Nasir