Toxic Relationships According to Chanakya: 7 Red Flags You Must Not Ignore
Ayush Singh | Apr 28, 2025, 10:20 IST
Chanakya, the ancient Indian philosopher and strategist, offered timeless wisdom on human behavior and relationships. This article explores how his teachings can be applied to identify toxic traits in personal and professional relationships today. It highlights key red flags — such as manipulation, deceit, disloyalty, and exploitation — that Chanakya warned against centuries ago. Backed by real-life examples and simple interpretations of Chanakya Neeti, the piece guides readers on recognizing toxic dynamics early and making empowered decisions to protect their mental and emotional well-being.
Love can be beautiful, but not every relationship is healthy.
Sometimes, we get so emotionally attached that we ignore the signs that someone might not be good for us. Interestingly, thousands of years ago, Chanakya — the ancient Indian teacher, philosopher, and advisor — had already warned people about these very problems in his book Chanakya Niti.
He wasn’t talking about dating apps or modern relationships, but his advice is surprisingly spot-on for today’s world. Let’s break down what Chanakya says about toxic people, and how you can spot red flags before it’s too late.
Chanakya believed that people who constantly complain or criticize are emotionally draining.
If your partner always finds something wrong with your life, your friends, or even your dreams — it’s a big red flag. A relationship should feel like a safe space, not a battlefield. Negative people don't just ruin your mood — they affect your confidence and mental health too.
Real Talk: If you always feel low after talking to them, it’s time to think twice.
According to Chanakya, flattery is dangerous if it's not backed by genuine intentions.
Ever met someone who’s too nice but doesn’t show real effort in the relationship? People who butter you up with compliments but disappear when you need support might be using their charm to cover up their selfish motives.
Remember: Love is shown more in actions than in sweet words.
Chanakya said that any bond where only one person is doing the work is doomed to fail.
If you're always making the calls, planning the meet-ups, or emotionally supporting them — but they don’t do the same for you — it’s not love, it’s emotional labor. A good relationship should be like a seesaw — balanced on both sides.
Ask yourself: Are they equally involved in making this work?
Chanakya clearly stated — never trust someone who hides things or lies to you.
Trust is the heart of any strong relationship. If your partner constantly lies, hides messages, or keeps you guessing, it creates stress and insecurity. You deserve transparency, not anxiety.
Pro Tip: One lie leads to many — and soon, you won't know what's real.
Chanakya warned about people who gossip — he said they’re dangerous.
If your partner casually spills others’ secrets, there’s a high chance they’re also talking behind your back. These people enjoy drama and create mistrust in relationships.
Golden Rule: If someone gossips with you, they’ll gossip about you.
You may spend time together, but still feel lonely.
Chanakya believed that people who lack emotional empathy can never build deep bonds. If your partner avoids emotional conversations, never understands how you feel, or shuts you down during tough times — you’re basically dating a wall.
Love Tip: Physical presence means nothing without emotional connection.
A person who disappears when life gets tough isn’t a real partner.
Chanakya said you should never rely on people who leave your side during bad times. If they celebrate your wins but go silent when you’re struggling, they’re just there for the good days.
Test of love: Who shows up when everything falls apart?
Chanakya pointed out that jealousy and ego often hide behind criticism.
Does your partner always compare you, correct you, or make you feel like you’re not good enough? This is emotional abuse disguised as “feedback.” If they can’t appreciate you, they don’t deserve you.
Watch out: You’re supposed to grow in love, not shrink.
Control isn’t love.
Chanakya strongly discouraged relationships where one person tries to manipulate or dominate the other. Whether it’s making you feel guilty, emotionally blackmailing you, or controlling your friends and choices — that’s toxic, not romantic.
Key Point: Someone who truly loves you will never try to control you.
Last but not least — unfaithfulness.
Chanakya said it loud and clear: betrayal breaks not just trust, but also the soul of the relationship. If someone has cheated, lied repeatedly, or emotionally betrayed you — it’s not your job to fix them. Love requires loyalty, period.
Truth Bomb: If they’ve betrayed you once and feel no remorse, it’s time to leave.
Chanakya was brutally honest about human nature. His message was simple:
Don’t fall for words — observe actions. Don’t ignore patterns — they speak louder than promises.
In relationships, it’s okay to be emotional — but don’t be blind.
You can love someone deeply and still walk away if it’s hurting you more than helping you grow.
Just like Chanakya taught centuries ago — wisdom is in choosing the right people, not in changing the wrong People.
Explore the latest trends and tips in Health & Fitness, Travel, Life Hacks, Fashion & Beauty, and Relationships at Times Life!
Sometimes, we get so emotionally attached that we ignore the signs that someone might not be good for us. Interestingly, thousands of years ago, Chanakya — the ancient Indian teacher, philosopher, and advisor — had already warned people about these very problems in his book Chanakya Niti.
He wasn’t talking about dating apps or modern relationships, but his advice is surprisingly spot-on for today’s world. Let’s break down what Chanakya says about toxic people, and how you can spot red flags before it’s too late.
relatioship tips
( Image credit : Freepik )
1. The Constant Complainer: Negative Vibes Only
If your partner always finds something wrong with your life, your friends, or even your dreams — it’s a big red flag. A relationship should feel like a safe space, not a battlefield. Negative people don't just ruin your mood — they affect your confidence and mental health too.
Real Talk: If you always feel low after talking to them, it’s time to think twice.
2. The Sweet Talker with Hidden Motives
Ever met someone who’s too nice but doesn’t show real effort in the relationship? People who butter you up with compliments but disappear when you need support might be using their charm to cover up their selfish motives.
Remember: Love is shown more in actions than in sweet words.
3. One-Sided Effort: You're Always Giving
If you're always making the calls, planning the meet-ups, or emotionally supporting them — but they don’t do the same for you — it’s not love, it’s emotional labor. A good relationship should be like a seesaw — balanced on both sides.
Ask yourself: Are they equally involved in making this work?
4. Trust Issues: When They Lie or Hide Things
Trust is the heart of any strong relationship. If your partner constantly lies, hides messages, or keeps you guessing, it creates stress and insecurity. You deserve transparency, not anxiety.
Pro Tip: One lie leads to many — and soon, you won't know what's real.
5. The Gossip Spreader: Talks About Others, Talks About You
If your partner casually spills others’ secrets, there’s a high chance they’re also talking behind your back. These people enjoy drama and create mistrust in relationships.
Golden Rule: If someone gossips with you, they’ll gossip about you.
6. Emotionally Distant: Always There, But Not Really
Chanakya believed that people who lack emotional empathy can never build deep bonds. If your partner avoids emotional conversations, never understands how you feel, or shuts you down during tough times — you’re basically dating a wall.
Love Tip: Physical presence means nothing without emotional connection.
7. Only There When It’s Easy
Chanakya said you should never rely on people who leave your side during bad times. If they celebrate your wins but go silent when you’re struggling, they’re just there for the good days.
Test of love: Who shows up when everything falls apart?
8. Constant Criticism: Nothing You Do Is Good Enough
Does your partner always compare you, correct you, or make you feel like you’re not good enough? This is emotional abuse disguised as “feedback.” If they can’t appreciate you, they don’t deserve you.
Watch out: You’re supposed to grow in love, not shrink.
9. Manipulative Behavior: Controlling Your Choices
Chanakya strongly discouraged relationships where one person tries to manipulate or dominate the other. Whether it’s making you feel guilty, emotionally blackmailing you, or controlling your friends and choices — that’s toxic, not romantic.
Key Point: Someone who truly loves you will never try to control you.
10. Cheating or Betrayal: The Ultimate Red Flag
Chanakya said it loud and clear: betrayal breaks not just trust, but also the soul of the relationship. If someone has cheated, lied repeatedly, or emotionally betrayed you — it’s not your job to fix them. Love requires loyalty, period.
Truth Bomb: If they’ve betrayed you once and feel no remorse, it’s time to leave.
What Would Chanakya Do?
toxic relationship
( Image credit : Freepik )
Don’t fall for words — observe actions. Don’t ignore patterns — they speak louder than promises.
In relationships, it’s okay to be emotional — but don’t be blind.
You can love someone deeply and still walk away if it’s hurting you more than helping you grow.
Just like Chanakya taught centuries ago — wisdom is in choosing the right people, not in changing the wrong People.
Explore the latest trends and tips in Health & Fitness, Travel, Life Hacks, Fashion & Beauty, and Relationships at Times Life!