Why Some People Pull Away When They Start Falling in Love?
Kazi Nasir | Jan 05, 2026, 20:15 IST
Why People Pull Away in Relationships
Image credit : Freepik
Why do some people pull away just when love begins to feel real? This article explores the emotional psychology behind early withdrawal in relationships, explaining why closeness can trigger fear instead of comfort. It examines how vulnerability, loss of control, past emotional wounds and the fear of dependence cause some individuals to create distance as a form of self-protection.
Highlights
- Explains why people pull away at the start of emotional intimacy
- Shows how vulnerability can trigger fear instead of connection
- Reframes emotional distance as protection, not rejection
- Explores how past experiences shape relationship behavior
Love is real. Some argue it's love that governs the whole universe. But why do some pull away at the very initial stage? Are they afraid of failing? At first, everything feels right: the conversation flow, the connection starts deepening, caring is shown even more than expected and then suddenly, something changes. Messages slow down. Distance appears. The person who felt warm suddenly pulls away.
One can take this kind of withdrawal as rejection or a lack of interest. But that's not true. For those people, when love starts feeling real, that is the moment a fear silently steps in. So why do some people pull away exactly when they begin falling in love?
![Emotional Distance in Relationships]()
When the storm of love overshadows the intellect of individuals, they lose control of both emotions and their intellect. Many people don't like vulnerability; it feels unsafe. Becasue of past experiences, they perceived a way of closeness. The truth is, love requires openness, and openness creates emotional exposure, and emotional exposure can activate fear for some people instead of comfort.
For some people, love doesn’t feel like warmth. It feels like a risk. The deeper the connection grows, the louder the internal alarm becomes.
For some, due to their past experiences. They fear being hurt again, and if they lower their emotional or intellectual guard, they surround themselves with. Nobody wants to be emotionally dependent on anyone. Neither do people want to lose their independence or identity.
![Fear of Intimacy Psychology]()
Emotional distance is a form of defence mechanism because the safety of the mind is important. So, avoidance can make them feel calmer than connection.
When emotions intensify internally, the brain looks for relief. For some, closeness soothes their anxiety. For others, distance does.
So, pulling away doesn’t always mean someone cares less. Often, it means they care more than they know how to handle.
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One can take this kind of withdrawal as rejection or a lack of interest. But that's not true. For those people, when love starts feeling real, that is the moment a fear silently steps in. So why do some people pull away exactly when they begin falling in love?
When Love Feels Like a Loss of Control
Emotional Distance in Relationships
Image credit : Freepik
When the storm of love overshadows the intellect of individuals, they lose control of both emotions and their intellect. Many people don't like vulnerability; it feels unsafe. Becasue of past experiences, they perceived a way of closeness. The truth is, love requires openness, and openness creates emotional exposure, and emotional exposure can activate fear for some people instead of comfort.
For some people, love doesn’t feel like warmth. It feels like a risk. The deeper the connection grows, the louder the internal alarm becomes.
For some, due to their past experiences. They fear being hurt again, and if they lower their emotional or intellectual guard, they surround themselves with. Nobody wants to be emotionally dependent on anyone. Neither do people want to lose their independence or identity.
Pulling Away Is Often a Protection, Not a Rejection
Fear of Intimacy Psychology
Image credit : Freepik
Emotional distance is a form of defence mechanism because the safety of the mind is important. So, avoidance can make them feel calmer than connection.
When emotions intensify internally, the brain looks for relief. For some, closeness soothes their anxiety. For others, distance does.
So, pulling away doesn’t always mean someone cares less. Often, it means they care more than they know how to handle.
Explore the latest trends and tips in Health & Fitness, Spiritual, Travel, Life Hacks, Trending, Fashion & Beauty, and Relationships at Times Life!